I am writing this blog for two reasons:
- To teach what does and doesn’t work at Reiki shares
- To center this around the topic of late — self-care!
First, what is a Reiki share?
A Reiki share is when a group of Reiki practitioners gathers to practice this traditional Japanese healing art. One practitioner lays on the table and all the others lay hands on her to channel Reiki energy. All are trained in some level of Reiki. My group does 15-minute intervals. Everyone takes turns so everyone gets to receive 15 minutes. Not that the giving part is bad at all! I use it to hone my skills as a Reiki Master and to enjoy the energy just the same. I learned a lot of what initially helped me to grow as a master in those Reiki shares.
It seems this past weekend I learned and grew again in our share. An issue came up that has never come up before.
What we have done for years has never changed. We always meet up between 1:45 and 2:00 pm, we hang out and chat until we are sure everyone is there. Then, we begin. We practice with everyone getting a turn and so we end up done by 4:00. This means sometimes we have a few people and sometimes we have a lot. My Reiki Masters invite all their students of all levels. So for those of us who are Masters, we just have to be careful not to perform symbols in front of the uninitiated. If we have a bigger crowd, we roll out the second table.
This recent Reiki Share was smaller than usual. We waited and started a little late, but we were certain we had everyone. The share began and I went first — always happy to jump on the table first. I like to be able to get fully grounded before the end of the share so I hate going last. I zone out during Reiki most of the time — I leave the planet for all know. I’ll “get the download” and it’s hard to come back! So my 15 minutes passed and we went on to the next person.
About 2:45, a couple walks in late and loud. My Reiki Master welcomed them in. Turns out, they are brother and sister and newly attuned. The young man says he got off work at 2:00 pm, had to go home and shower as he works outside.
So here’s how I chose to handle this.
First, don’t bring your dysfunction into my space at all — let alone my sacred space. If the Reiki Share doesn’t start until 2:00 pm and you have to work until 2:00 pm, guess what? You can’t make it. Learn how to schedule.
Second, I don’t want to hear your excuses. Must be the life coach in me. You couldn’t be here by the time the function started and needed a shower too. That is not my problem.
Third, and most importantly, a Reiki Share must be an even exchange of energy. Ask any experienced healer. You cannot give out more than you are receiving. Though Reiki does not deplete, there’s an exchange of time here. I am not staying late to help people who can’t be on time. I have a thing against over giving. It’s called — wait for it — self-care.
This may sound harsh to some. But it’s important for those of us who are healers to practice strong boundaries. New healers need to learn them. Experienced healers need to teach them to the newer people. When I was new, more experienced healers taught them to me by example.
I have noticed in six years of doing Reiki the people who this field attracts. Guess what? We all love to help others. We also tend to lean towards helping too much. I have learned not to over-give and not to be a “help-aholic.” I learned by doing my work. I was codependent when Reiki found me in 2012 and engaged in a program of recovery from codependency and addiction since 2013. I’ve been in recovery since 7-1-13. I have no doubt I would have stayed in the grip of my addictive behaviors longer if I hadn’t found Reiki. (Reiki 2 tends to blow out whatever in your life needs to be destroyed).
I have learned to modify my behavior and I do not tolerate bad behavior from others. Boundaries are self-care! There must be boundaries in any Reiki interaction, especially at the shares.
I didn’t want to ruin the new pair’s passion for or impression of Reiki or those of us who do it. I had to remind myself I wasn’t in “life coach mode” and was there to enjoy myself. Also, it’s not my share to run. I’m not the leader of this. My Reiki Master is there, she runs it, it’s her decision and I don’t want to be rude to her as our host either. So I decided to leave peacefully and quietly and without giving a reason as to why I was leaving.
I was not the first person to excuse myself.
Another Reiki practitioner hadn’t laid on the table and received yet — two of the original group hadn’t. She asked if she could go next and said she had some things to do and would have to leave right after. I am going to have to just guess she was thinking what I was thinking. I stayed long enough to do Reiki on the other two people who had done it on me (knowing my Master always goes last as she’s the host). Then I quietly grabbed my water bottle and left.
I decided not to complain to my Reiki Master as it’s her share, her choice. If I don’t like how it’s going, I can politely excuse myself again.
I’ve known so many healers who demand an even exchange of energy — always. If the exchange isn’t in money, it’s in time. But it must be even. A friend and I used to exchange Reiki but not on the same day as she had a preference to not give and receive in the same day. I’ve had some friends willing to trade Reiki for massage and some who won’t as they don’t feel it’s an even exchange.
Everyone has their own unique boundaries.
There are some things I think we can agree upon as a basis for starting a Reiki share:
- Be on time.
- Be open to learning new things.
- Your Reiki lineage or training is not better than anyone else’s.
- You are responsible for the energy you bring to the share so make sure it’s good!
- Energy exchanges must be even exchanges.
- Don’t reveal symbols to the uninitiated. This is an act of respect towards Reiki itself.
- But DO help the new people to not be lost.
- Be polite and respectful (I have found Reiki shares to be diverse in culture and religious beliefs so this isn’t the place to be if you’re bothered by others’ cultures, values, languages, accents, cultures and beliefs)!
- Be clean and smell good. Because ya’ll are about to be up in each other’s personal space! Think about it!
- Bring water. Energy work makes you thirsty.
- No soliciting. On one level, there is sharing your pride in what you do. On another, we’ve all been hit up already by three friends for Young Living, five friends for Do Terra, 4 friends for Thirty-One, etc. Don’t use the share to meet your MLM business goals.
My Reiki Masters don’t charge for our Reiki shares. They open up their office to the group and we use their facility as it’s already set up with tables. I think two tables is ideal to have in case you get more people than expected.
I have heard of some Reiki shares charging participants money or a “love offering,” just to pay for a space. It’s always nice to bring a little something to share. My Reiki Master bakes the best gluten-free brownies! Sometimes we bring in crystals and stones to share with the group if so moved. Of course, my Reiki Master Donna has her offices filled with crystals and stones of all kinds. She loves to give us little stones she finds in her travels.
Reiki shares are awesome because friendships are built there. Skills are honed. Reiki practitioners get to heal and be healed. You can start a share with only a few people. You don’t have to start off with a big bang. Just make sure it’s a safe place for all — safe for sharing, learning and growing. The main goal is for everyone to receive Reiki. A secondary goal is for everyone to hone their skills as Reiki Practitioners and Masters.
Want to know more? Drop me a note below.