How to live your life while grieving

Life can change in an instant.

Often, it’s the only way we change. Suddenly. Without warning. Life knows we are sluggish to change.

But this is also the way things work in this Universe. It’s best to let go because it’s all out of our human control.

I woke up Friday morning to a very sick cat. As I was about to walk out the door at 7:40 a.m., I realized something was very wrong with him as I saw him struggling to urinate. I rushed him to the vet — ending up at the walk-in vet as FOUR vet offices were booked solid for the day. The walk-in vet treated and released my sweet baby Rupert. He had a bladder infection but I was cautioned to keep vigilant as he could become blocked at any time. The vet taught me how to check for a blockage with a simple exam. With a medicated cat and armload of Hill’s c/d food, we headed home.

The next morning, Rupert was fine when I woke up. Just about two hours later, we were at the emergency vet, which I drove to in a thunderstorm. Ever take a cat to the vet in a thunderstorm? Not fun at all, especially not in the acute panic state I was in. I had felt a blockage in my cat. His bladder was full and hard. He was visibly blocked as well.

I made a tough decision.

I vow that no animal of mine will suffer and so I made the decision, based on what the emergency vet told me, to end Rupert’s suffering. She was not confident we could save him if she tried and he’d be in pain for days. He would suffer and possibly still not make it. Plus, this could happen again. This is what happens with neutered males and their anatomy. But you can’t not neuter! (Prior to his neutering, Rupert had serious behavioral issues which were fixed immediately upon surgery).

The life of an animal lover is hard because our furry friends don’t live forever.

Rupert was the best friend we could have had. We loved and appreciated him so much in his two short years. I am thankful for the gift I was given. After my cat of 11 years, Alcatraz, passed away in February 2017 passed away — also suddenly — my friend’s cat became pregnant. “Roo” came from that litter. I’ll spare you endless stories of how special he was.

I still have an elderly female cat we refer to as HRH Meeko, a.k.a “The Queen” or “The Boss.” She is heartbroken, naturally. I am awake checking the weather as it will be a storm chasing night with threat of a tornado outbreak here in the Midwest. How can I sleep at a time like this? HRH was asleep though — having a nightmare as evidenced by the noises she was making in her sleep. My sweet baby girl…

I am worn out on all levels. I am grieving. I wish I understood why the loss of a pet is so deep and painful. I’ve sobbed over losing pets much worse than I have for humans in my life. I’ve had many losses; I am used to death. But the soul and bone-shaking sobs I experience now (and with previous pet losses) are like no other grief. Maybe it’s because animals can’t talk. Maybe it’s because the bond we have with them is so unique and special.

But life does go on.

I still have goals and things I want to be doing other than this grief crap. It’s really inconvenient. I am still committed to self-mastery and enhancing my skills daily. I am still committed to my vlog-a-day challenge but now you know why I haven’t vlogged. If you saw the few Instagram stories I did post yesterday, you already know I’m just too sad for the vlog. It’s LOA Monday here and I just kinda sorta came up with a blog post then blew it off to write this one.

I’m therefore not going to go against the flow of things. It’s going to be a big self-care week. I am trying to rest but feeling restless. I’m eating well and taking my supplements in order to care for my physically exhausted body. I cried five hours straight on Saturday. My eyes, sinuses, and headache will have to heal. But if you’ve ever lived in Tornado Alley, you know my headache won’t go away until the storms do. We are on track for a possible outbreak of tornadoes here in Wichita today. I work for the severe weather radio station here. It’s going to be a long day. (At the time of this writing it is 3:00 a.m.)

I’ll keep my haircut appointment and continue eating right. That’s about all I know for now as far as self-care plans. Life cannot stop for grief and I wish I’d known that when I was younger and suffering much bigger losses in my life. I still worked Saturday night as we had a risk of severe weather in our area. But my team is awesome and totally supported me in that choice. I only work with awesome people!

I’ve worked really hard in the month of May and I don’t want to lose that momentum. But I may be a little quiet this week. I may or may not vlog. I may or may not contribute content to Destiny Architecture and hop on the Patreon… I may listen to sappy 1980s power ballads. I don’t know.

But I wanted to blog about what’s going on. I see a lot of people post a blog…then go silent for three months. I just want you to know I’m here. I’m engaged. I may be scarce for a moment. Between feeling my feelings and covering severe weather, it could be quiet around here today. YOU, my community, are still top of mind. If you want to book out next week or beyond, that’s fine. I don’t plan on being too present to coach others while I feel depleted myself. (Though I still have previous commitments I’m keeping this week).

Thank you for your love and support!

a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor..jpg

Vlog #5: Can we let go of perfectionism already?

I’m not perfect. I’m not Oprah. I’m not a big star online life coach with a perfect life.

I’ve had both serious success and a rock bottom — or two. They’ve been “high bottoms,” but for me — they were horrible! I moved halfway across the country in 2010 to follow a dream, had it, and left it. I’d trade none of my life experiences for anything. They were my teachers.

This is what I think about when I meditate on perfection.

What is the point? Seriously! What. Is. The. Point.

What do we get out of perfectionism?

It wastes time, money, hope, and dreams. It delays. It forces us into fear, anxiety, and procrastination. It shrinks us. We should always be expanding. There are times in life when you either grow into more or retreat into less, yes. I know this to be true. But if you’re unhappy in life, you’re going to need to try and expand.

If you want to grow and change you need to find a new edge! You need to get uncomfortable! And stay that way! Push that edge.

Like Steve Jobs said, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” He may have been the biggest perfectionist of all time. But he knew the power of making a mistake. When I say “Steve Jobs,” what is the first thing that comes to mind? Apple and his legacy, probably. But do you remember the Lisa computer? Probably not. That was his big failure and he moved on from it to create the massive success that is the Apple we know today.

There’s no such thing as overnight success. I’ve worked on this blog/website for nearly 3 years now!

Who cares about your failures? Just your haters. I hope mine have enjoyed mine from afar. Whatever. I do my things and I don’t care!

Vlog #2 for Destiny Architects

Destiny Architecture Vlog-a-Day Challenge!

I am catching up posting the vlogs on here but I have done one a day successfully for the past 3 days. I am so excited because I am loving it! I don’t have time to make you fully-produced videos (right now anyway). So this gives me a chance to show you who I am and what I am up to. For now, this is completely and totally “off the cuff” and unplanned.

My goal at this time is just to do a vlog a day. Why?

Because I want to show my life coaching clients you have to — like Nike has always said — just do it. I have no idea how to vlog, why to vlog, if what I am doing is even true vlogging… but I’m going to do it anyway. Doing it and sucking at it for the past three days is better than not doing it at all! I’m so clueless about vlogging that I don’t have any idea what I am doing wrong. Or right. But I’m having fun and maybe even serving you better. Or, I’m at least on my way to serving you better. I may even find some new people!

The first two were long and the second one was short. Please comment on what you like/hate. Ask me questions. Did I say something that resonated with you? Let me know in the comments!

My first vlog for Destiny Architects

I’m so excited to start vlogging! I have no idea what I am doing but I’m going to just do it anyway.

I promise these will get better.

I’m thinking a vlog a day maybe? Minimum? What would you like me to vlog about? Watch this first one and then let me know in the comments what you want to know more about.

Now offering an 8-session life coaching package with a pay-as-you-go option

To better serve my clients, I keep coming up with all kinds of stuff…

How about a package of 8 life coaching sessions? Here you go! It is now live. This will allow you to sign up for a low price and spread out payments over an 8-week period while you are receiving 1-2 coaching sessions per week. Use them all up in a month or spread them out! Buying the package of 8 coaching sessions will help you really commit to doing the work. Then when I give you homework between sessions (as I often do), you will be much more invested in the overall process.

You can pay upfront too, which will save $50.

Please allow 90 minutes to two hours for each session — especially the first session as I’ll be getting to know you. If you have any questions, please let me know! Either ask in the comments or email me at destinyarchitecture@gmail.com.

8 COACHING SESSIONS.jpg

New sale for May: 5 coaching sessions for $50 off

For the month of May, you can purchase five life coaching sessions for just $400 — that’s $50 off!

Also, that gives you a chance to have a session a week all month! (If you want). Or spread them out all summer.

I can coach you on life changes, career changes, creativity, and getting unstuck in life in general!

What do you want to change? What does your ideal life look like? What do you want less of? I’d love to get to know you and begin asking questions to help bring you clarity!

5 Life Coaching Sessions $450
400.00 450.00

You are ready to take the leap forward and schedule 5 transformational life coaching sessions into your life! You want and demand more of this life you're living. You want more peace, balance, and happiness in your life!


Each transformational life coaching session will include an affirmation we create for you together, plus a graphic of it I will make and send to you so you can use it as a screensaver on your phone as a reminder. We can work on goal setting + an action plan; seeking balance; or whatever you want to work on!


I will follow up with you after each session as we decide, whether by email, text, and/or phone.

How to book:

Purchase here on this site and fill out the required fields (name/phone/email/) and tell me in the blank space what your preferred time is to have a session.

You can also reach me at destinyarchitecture@gmail.com

Quantity:
Add To Cart

Distance Reiki sale extended at $18 off!

I decided to extend my sale on distance Reiki into the month of May.

I have not done enough Reiki on people lately!

Also…I lost the past week due to a dead tooth and subsequent oral surgery. (Though I did manage to pick up 3 CEUs while my whole face was still numb! Why? Because why not?)

In the comments, please let me know any questions you have about Reiki!

Distance Reiki Session
70.00 88.00

Reiki is a traditional Japanese healing technique. It’s hands-on healing but it can also be done over any distance and timeframe. I do distance Reiki sessions by phone or online chat. Reiki transcends time & space, so you can reap the benefits either in person or over the distance! After years of doing only in-person sessions, I’m called now to do distance Reiki so I can reach more people with this beautiful, relaxing energy!

Quantity:
Add To Cart

Some personal reflections for spring so far on health & wellness

I've been somewhat quiet online lately. This is what healers do... We step away, go within, and...well, heal.

Things are running a little late in my Patreon community this month -- which is OK since I (at the time of this writing) have zero Patrons joining in. Good news is, it's only my second month on Patreon. So if you join today, you'll get last month's stuff plus all the stuff I am about to post!

I'm healing my body.

This body of mine has been doing some strange things and I'm not totally sure why except for the obvious like age, hormones, diet, and rest...all of which are a bit erratic.

I've said forever I could do health and wellness without a gym. I stand by that. I didn't join a "gym." I joined a bizarre and different new "studio," shall we say. It's called Hotworx here in Wichita and you do short workouts inside an infrared sauna.

Hotworx I love this place.jpg

Hotworx

I am admitting this sounded absolutely psychotic when I first heard of it online. (I believe I first saw them on Facebook). Work out in the heat?

I hated Bikram yoga. HATED it. So at first, I figured this was like that. But it's not! I am glad I tried it. The infrared heat makes exercise easier and this is what I feel I need. My knee is making noise now, I feel terribly inflexible and sedentary...

But I am busy! So I can go to Hotworx and do a 15-minute row in the infrared sauna and it burns around 700 calories. The whole process of getting ready to go work out, driving there, doing the damn thing, and driving home takes me an hour. It's good for time management. I am told Infrared heat is healing...

A word about using the word "calories."

I am NOT a fitness coach or instructor. I'm a life coach and a Reiki Master. I give a sh*t about counting calories. I wouldn't mind losing weight, but it's not my main focus. I want more energy, strength, and flexibility. Plus, I want to feel better. I want to move. I don't vibe with "gym" culture, diet culture, and all that triggering crapola.

I am here for accepting myself as I am and improving my health. I did take my measurements on my second day at Hotworkx so I can measure over time how my body changes -- if it changes. I like metrics and being able to measure what happens here. My blood pressure yesterday was 115/68, so I think I'm doing OK! (It was higher a year ago, MUCH higher).

So I am researching more into this. I am NOT a doctor or medical professional and this blog/website is not meant to diagnose or treat any disease.

Falling down the rabbit hole of health research

This new workout had me looking into infrared heat and saunas, then red light therapy...then I find Ari Whitten's writings and get his Kindle book, Red Light Therapy... Then I listen to his podcast with Dr. Trevor Cates...

Here is where I snapped awake!

She brought up a condition I've suffered with for years. NO doctor has been able to help. (I had Dr. Rodan as my dermatologist in my teen years in Fremont, California so you direct sales people back OFF; I have actually met her; I still have acne). Dr. Cates, “The Spa Dr.,” mentions that keratosis pilaris can be (again, this site isn't meant for curing or diagnosing anything) caused by a zinc deficiency! What?! NO ONE ever mentioned this to me before!

So fast forward to now...I am overhauling my diet, reading her book, and dosing up on supplements (again, I don't diagnose or treat anything, y'all, I'm a Reiki Master listening to the guidance of my higher self here). I've got zinc, vitamin A, essential fatty acids, probiotics, and vitamin D. Some of these I already had. But I had to really research and search online for a good zinc supplement. This is the one I selected.

In the process, I saw someone mention in a forum that an IUD can deplete the body of zinc...and I haven't found confirmation on that yet. I have an IUD but it's not made of copper, so I am wondering if that comment was only about copper IUDs? Does anyone know? Let me know in the comments if you do, or use the contact form if you want to be more private.

Switching to all-natural beauty and personal care products

I also found a cool, natural brand with great reviews, called Tree of Life Beauty on Amazon. I've ordered their retinol serum to try and get a handle on this acne. Now I am reading more of Dr. Cates' book and looking into organic skincare products with a pH of 5.5...

So here's a great example of congruency that I talk about often as a coach. Using myself as an example...

How in the hell can I join an exercise studio where I am working on healing through infrared heat and eliminating toxins...and still have a makeup bag, shower, bathroom, and a household full of chemicals?

I can't replace all the crapola overnight. But I am going to work on getting rid of all the harmful chemicals from my life. I'm a tad inspired by all the minimalism videos I've been watching on YouTube lately (more on that for another blog post).

I've touched on this very briefly on my Instagram feed too recently. I decided to work on cutting back on indoor air pollution as I discovered while traveling to Arizona in December that I need to wear a pollution mask to protect myself from PM2.5. I got rid of all my incense and candles for a TRULY smoke-free home. I purchased a sage spray, so I am no longer burning sage to cleanse the energy around me. (I love my spray! I featured it on Instagram).

View this post on Instagram

So here is the stuff! It’s made by @heritagestorenatural and it’s a sage spray. ⠀ ⠀ This is for those of us who don’t do fire. Or for whom the smell of sage is just too strong for. I actually love the smell of burning sage. I love the ritual. I’ve never been in a spiritual circle where we didn’t burn sage — especially in the Reiki community. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ The other day, my neighbor’s place burnt down. I mean dead ass burned down. I have trauma around fire 🔥 as I lost my cousin in a fire when I was 11. I’ve come to accept that I am still healing this wound — and that is ok. I keep finding myself and/around/affected by fires! Even as a reporter. If I see smoke, I drive the news vehicle toward it, not away. My soul needs the healing. ⠀ ⠀ But in my home, no fire. Also, sage smells like weed 🤣 I haven’t done drugs in 17 years. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I also have respiratory trouble when there is high ozone and/or high particulate matter. I’ve begrudgingly been working slowly on indoor air pollution as well as wearing a mask on high pollution days. I got super sick in Arizona at Christmas, so I’m finally learning my lesson. ⠀ ⠀ The burning of things inside my home had to stop. For all of the above reasons. So I’m happy to use this sage spray! I used it on the recovery center, the radio station, and my home. I use it before I sit down to write and create coaching/Reiki content for you! ⠀ Much love & blessings!

A post shared by Heather Larson | Life Coach (@heatherlarson) on

This is where I am at now. Heading towards some kind of chemical-free health minimalism that I have yet to deeply define.

I will continue blogging about this journey for you! Maybe it will help someone else. KP sufferers unite & power to the people...not the overly-famous dermatologists...haha.

Getting healthy in 2019.jpg

###

In full disclosure -- this is NOT a paid blog post. I am blogging about my own experiences and spending my own money. I am not medically-trained, not a doctor or physician, and this blog/website and my social media accounts are not meant to diagnose or treat any disease.

I used my own money to purchase products mentioned above. Those products have affiliate links so I can earn if you follow/purchase from those links. I purchased all but the Sage Aura Spray from Amazon; that I purchased locally from Sprouts grocery store.

If you like my work, you can support it by making a purchase in the Destiny Architecture store, sharing this blog with others, booking a life coaching and/or Reiki session, joining my Patreon, or making an in-kind donation to my excessive dental care and personal care through Square at: $coachheather.

Healthy Lifestyle Infographic.jpg

How to reprogram your subconcious mind 

How to reprogram your subconcious mind with this new, downloadable PDF worksheet

Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind Downloadable PDF Worksheet
8.88

This downloadable PDF worksheet will help you along your personal development journey by helping you become conscious of negative thinking patterns that are holding you back. Then it will help you change them into positive ones.

There are six questions in this worksheet for you. I’ve also written a blog to help you with this idea.

Once purchased, you will receive a link to download the PDF. That link will be active for 24 hours.

I recommend downloading it and printing it out so you can write on it. Or, you can save paper (and trees) by keeping it on your computer or tablet. Then you can write in a journal on it, or journal by computer. I personally like to journal on my computer because I can write faster by keyboard.

Half of this worksheet will be recognizing your negative subconscious thinking patterns. The other half will be creating new patterns that are more beneficial to what you want to create in your life.

Add To Cart

Thank you for joining me on this path of healing work. You’re going to do great. There are many “a-ha moments” ahead of you! Let’s get to work. 

Ask yourself, “What pre-programmed subconscious messages do I deal with?”

Let’s get into a niche here because to mine the negative subconscious messages from the entire mind is a tad overwhelming. 

Which niche would you like to work on? 

  • Money/finances 

  • Health/beauty/body image/exercise 

  • Creativity 

  • Career and/or job search/job changing 

  • Personal life 

Remember, this healing work is endless and you can always come back to this tool to work on different areas at different times. 

Let’s use trust as an example. 

I catch my subconscious being weird abut trust all the time, but this doesn’t mean that in these fleeting moments I am doing anything about it. I am merely becoming conscious of the fact that I catch glimpses of my lack of trust. What is it I don’t trust? I start asking the questions so the work can begin. 

How does this message hold me back? 

I know from life experience that taking a leap of faith works for me. I am a risk taker by nature. Perhaps that’s why I don’t trust well…sometimes I take a leap of faith that is well-planned out. Those are the ones that work. Impulsive leaps, however, do NOT work! I think those few unplanned leaps and subsequent failures embedded in me a lack of trust tied into a feeling of failure. There were also many personal relationships with friends, family, and love interests which also fed my lack of trust. 

But let’s dig a little deeper, using myself as an example. 


What is behind that lack of trust? 

Fear. 

What am I afraid of? 

That’s a good question! Is it failure I am scared of? No. It’s more the fear of putting myself out there. There’s a fear of vulnerability. I can own my failures, mistakes, and the embarrassment from them. But at least I am doing something. Some people never do anything. They let the fear paralyze them. I am afraid often of being seen and feeling vulnerable. 

I’ll leave out all the “psych 101” reasons why as I’m a life coach and I’m not interested in the past. A good coach moves forward, not back. (To deal with past issues, early childhood memories, and family of origin issues, please see a qualified therapist). 

So we’ve decided I will work on my personal life and general fear for the purpose of this example.

What is the opposite of fear? Love!

Let’s find a way for me to attract more love into my life! If love is the opposite of fear (and it is) then I want to attract things like courage and trust into my life. 

This is where the affirmations come in. 

  • “I love and trust life!” 

  • “I trust the Universe if always working in my favor.” 

  • “I trust in life, I am trustworthy and operate with integrity so I attract people who are trustworthy to me.” 

  • “I am worthy of trust and only attract trustworthy people into my life.” 

Play with these affirmations and tailor them to your own life. 

So now we know I have some pre-programmed messages about lack of trust embedded in my subconscious. Perhaps that came from my parents always saying things like, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” We also know these pre-programmed messages caused me harm as they hold me back from being able to be vulnerable to others. 

Therefore, we begin to turn it around by asking: 

What do I want to attract into my life? 

Then we tailor affirmations for what we DO want in our life. Because, remember: 

What you focus on expands! 

If you want less of it, DO NOT concentrate on it! 

There are three more questions to engage you on this path in this worksheet. 

Often I find when I am doing this work, I start with six questions and end up asking myself 30. The questions beget more questions. The more armor you take off, the more you can ask yourself and the more you can free up! 


A word about these downloadable PDF worksheets by Destiny Architecture

I design these worksheets for you to use by printing them out. You can then write on them or write in a journal to answer questions. Of course, you can save paper by downloading the worksheet to your device and then journaling on a laptop. Whatever you prefer! 

I also design these worksheets for self-study. But I am here for coaching sessions if something comes up that you’d like to work on further. 

You can also join the Patreon community for support from the group! One of these worksheets will come with the $10 membership tier each month. 

Also, please take your time when working on these. They are for YOU! They are for your personal growth and development. Tie them into your yoga, meditation, or writing practice. Diffuse some essential oil, put on some music, cut out distractions, and use these in your self-care time. You’ll be glad you did. 

Announcing: The Destiny Architecture Coaching & Reiki Community is now on Patreon

What!?!!? I can snag me some life coaching and Reiki with Destiny Architecture on Patreon? SCORE!

I know, not my usual headline but after a week of allergy hell (normal life in the Midwest) I am feeling 75% more human today! So let’s just have some fun with this!

I am creating a life coaching and Reiki community on Patreon here.

It’s a brand-new community I am birthing this spring. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time and Patreon gives me a great plug-and-play type of way to do this. (Patreon is a membership community led by creators. So you help me make money and meet goals in return for amazing content).

I’ve posted on the Patreon page about what the community is about and I’ve also uploaded an exclusive, Patrons-only life coaching worksheet for the $10/mo+ tiers. It’s about how you can reprogram your subconscious mind, which is so revealing. But at the same time, it will help you create a better way for yourself. Yes, we have some subconscious program we want to let go of — but we also have to program in the new!

I’ll be posting a worksheet once a month like this for Patrons. You’ll also be able to get a podcast, coaching, access to a mastermind, and more.

The worksheet is up, the “what this is all about” post is up, and some other “for everybody” content you can read.

If you’ve been a fan of this blog, you’re going to love it.

Yes, you can join for free!

The benefits kick in at the $3/mo tier. It goes all the way up to the $250/mo mastermind level. I have a post on there about this, but it isn’t just about the money commitment to the community. It’s also about what time you have to give to the community — and more importantly — to your own personal growth.

Above all, it’s about your energy!

Bring your energy to the community. Participate. Consume some, give back some. How much energy do you have for personal development right now? Pick that tier. Do that.

I chose Patreon because the site is full of amazing creators. I’ve been a Patron of others there for one year now and it has changed my life! I’ve been a patron of some anti-racism educators and social justice activists in the past year. Where else can you find people creating such amazing content for affordable monthly prices?

Of course, I am adding in a ton of premium content. I want there to be something for everyone while —at the same time— keeping the mastermind people in their own Slack group. I don’t want you to join that (even if that’s affordable to you) if you don’t have the energy to bring. Being in the mastermind will require work on your part. There will be reading and giving knowledge to others.

So check it out. More to come!

Destiny Architecture is now on Patreon!.jpg

New!

Online Coaching & Reiki community with several subscription tiers available!

#LOAMonday No. 9: You don’t need a reason to succeed, but if you insist…  

Here’s the thing: you don’t need a reason to succeed. You don’t need a reason to be OK with attracting all your wildest dreams and prosperity. 

You don’t have to be anything. You don’t have to do anything first. You don’t have to look a certain way. You don’t have to be someone’s expectation. 

You don’t need all that. To get into the Law of Attraction, you simply have to believe you deserve it. You don’t have to be perfect. Conditions don’t have to optimal first. 

But I will give you a reason anyway.

LOAMonday.jpg

We need you…

To be you!

Do you want to know what that reason is as to why you can just be alright with attracting ALL the abundance through the Law of Attraction? 

We need you to be OK with it because we need your gifts. It’s not about you. It’s about the world. The world needs your gifts. The world needs you to contribute and will reward you handsomely. 

We have been waiting for you to make the thing. We have been waiting for you to bring your voice. We want the sunlight to shine on your purpose. We want you to win, crush it — whatever you want to call it. 

Change the world with your purpose. People will pay for it. People will buy your thing because they appreciate the problem it solves for them. 

It’s time to share your brilliance with the world. We need it. We need you to get off your ass and share your greatness. The rewards will come…