Let's talk Patreon -- membership tiers & whatcha get + why I did it!

I’m doing a content blitz tonight on Patreon. Have you checked it out yet? Do it!

https://www.patreon.com/DestinyArchitecture

The purpose of providing life coaching & Reiki on Patreon is to give YOU options for getting involved in this personal development lifestyle I live. Do you love anything metaphysical and want to get your feet wet with anything about chakras & meditation? I’ve got you! There’s a tier for that.

Want to get more serious and start doing some personal development work? I make PDFs and podcasts for that EXCLUSIVE to Patreon! The PDF and podcast I uploaded to the Patron for July is about leveling up your abundance practice and make the podcast all about that. This isn’t stuff I’m posting on here for free or for sale! This is for Patrons only.

Yes, I have that much content to put out into the world. I know things get better with coaching and Reiki. That’s why I want to spread it to the world.

Here’s a brief breakdown of the Patreon membership levels and what they get you:

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$3/mo

*Patron-only blog posts

*Monthly podcast

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$10/mo

All the above plus:

*monthly downloadable coaching PDF exclusive to Patrons.

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$20/mo

All the above plus:

*A thank-you tweet

*Monthly Q&A

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$35/mo

ALL the above, plus:

*The Artist’s Way Course!

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$50/mo

ALL the above, plus:

*A monthly distance Reiki session of 30 minutes!

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$130/mo

ALL the above, plus:

*A private coaching session with me monthly!

Mastermind Open for enrollment  .jpg

$250/mo

ALL the above, plus:

*The MASTERMIND for Destiny Architects with a monthly teleconference and access to a private Slack group.

The first reason for the Patreon is to offer coaching & Reiki at affordable rates for Patrons.

You give me patronage for my creations in coaching & Reiki — downloadable PDFs, podcasts, blogs, Q&A, and a ton of other content I’m creating. I create, you pay me, and we all reap the benefits. It’s an old idea brought back to life for the current times — that of Patronage.

The second reason for the Patreon is to have support while i write my Reiki ebook

There are so many creators on Patreon making the coolest stuff! I follow writers, YouTube creators, and podcasters, for example.

So I’m going to write a Reiki ebook! You’re going to be a part of it (as much as you want to be). Different tiers on the Patreon give you different benefits for helping me with the book — whether through your patronage, your feedback — or both. Get advance content from the book, acknowledgements, feedback opportunities, and even FREE copies of the book once it’s done.

Your Patronage will help me pay for the book cover, editing, and all the help I need to complete it and get it online. Basically, you’re helping me fund the creation of my book. But you totally benefit! Are you a Patreon or an angel? I consider you both!

I’ve been adding content to the Patreon all night in a “content blitz” I’ve been on for more than just tonight. This month’s download and podcast are up, too. There are also polls you can take. When you do them, you are totally contributing to the book already.

Tomorrow, keep an eye out for a special offer just for Patrons!

Top Destiny Architecture Life Coaching & Reiki blogs of June

This post may contain affiliate links the author can earn money from if you choose to purchase from it. There is no cost to you.  

Anyone want some Reiki next week? Hit me up! ~Heather Larson, Life Coach & Reiki Master

Anyone want some Reiki next week? Hit me up! ~Heather Larson, Life Coach & Reiki Master

Top life coaching & Reiki blogs loved by Destiny Architects in June 2019:

As we are halfway through July (and a ghastly Mercury Retrograde), it’s more than past time for me to give you a round up of last month’s posts.

#5: Resiliency!

This first post was #5 on the popularity list, but it was still a big deal when I posted it. I may have to spend a little more time on the subject of resiliency for you, what do you think? Let me know in the comments! 

5. The Bounce Back: How to get out of your own way and become more resilient

Onto popular post No. 4: 

Victimhood wasn’t your friend last month, the month before, this month — get it? NEVER! You cannot live in congruency with your goals of living an abundant life when you play the victim. Recognize it, acknowledge it, and move past it. That’s what we are all about, Destiny Architects — leveling up. Your prosperity will level up when you stop playing the victim. If you aren’t sure if you are…read on: 

4. #LOAMonday No. 13: Victimhood is NOT your friend

Onto #3…Summer lifestyle guide: I won’t say much about this one.

Overnight, the school supplies moved into the stores and my sports nut friends are already talking rabidly about football. But summer isn’t over! I will cling to it for all that’s left! 

3. Ways to celebrate summer 2019 and make it the best yet

Second most popular is that vlog I did about the Self Journal!

Hey, thanks for voting this one up with your page views! This item is a daily constant in my life. So if this video made you try it, let me know. I would love to know how it made a difference for you in your planning/journaling life. 

I still have a discount for you too: 

https://bestself.co/products/self-journal?variant=18866392563781

Use the code HeatLar for 15% off your purchase! 

(Yes, I benefit if you click through and purchase through my link at no extra cost to you). 

2. Vlog #7: I'm in love with the Best Self Co planner -- The Self Journal

Annnnnnd #1…I can’t even believe it?!

THIS was the one y’all looked at most last month. Which is funny to me because I thought no one would care. And then this happened. And then I booked someone for a Reiki session at White Dove. So Reiki is BACK in Wichita for me, Destiny Architects! Woot! 

The name is still dead though. Ha! It’s no longer “You Deserve Reiki” as I feel led to lay that name to rest and move us into something a little more, shall I say, 2020… 

I’m actually going to make some NEW Reiki flyers to put out at White Dove. (Probably next week). But the new flyers won’t have the new name. For now, I am offering Reiki sessions under the umbrella of “Destiny Architecture.” 

More to come! 

1. .So...I was thinking about starting a Reiki practice again in Wichita

Thanks for voting with your page views. Remember, you can always comment or submit a form to get at me. And yes, this is Heather Larson writing this and reading your comments. This business is still a one-woman show…for now. 

I’m hoping to employ the nieces and nephews in the future (f they want jobs doing e-commerce and social media for Destiny Architecture, that is). 

So please remember this is a woman-owned family business in Wichita, KS. What this means for you is your feedback is appreciated, welcomed, honored, listened to — and treasured!

Thank you for being here. You are literally my first fans and are on the leading edge of something I promise will be huge. I’ve worked on this like a HONEY BADGER for three years now. I know this because I was just sent a reminder that this domain is renewing! 

THREE YEARS! 

Holy wow! Holy special sauce! Thank YOU for being my reader. 

Thank you 1,000 times! 

The best is yet to come for us all! 

Remember, YOU are the architect of your own destiny! 

~Coach Heather 

Why are healers always sick? 

This post may contain affiliate links the author can earn money from if you choose to purchase from it. There is no cost to you.  

Every master was once a disaster. Every healer was once sicker than hell, at least once or ten dozen times.

Every master was once a disaster. Every healer was once sicker than hell, at least once or ten dozen times.

I know. I ask myself this all the time to the point it’s funny. (To me, anyway). 

Why are healers always sick? 

When is all this Reiki going to start working on you? 

Yeah, Reiki…sure…but you’re sick all the time… 

Just a few examples of the drivel I’ve heard from the skeptics, the one’s who’ve pre-judged, so why would I bother to engage? 

The time has come to write a blog about it. I’m in a “healing crisis,” a term I believe was coined by Diane Stein in one of her Reiki books (and of course I have both of her Reiki manuals and can’t find the quote now). This was brought to my attention years ago by my own Reiki Masters, Conrad and Donna Jestmore

So without finding Stein’s definition, here’s mine: 

A healing crisis is when you keep getting knocked on your ass continually while trying your hardest to be healthy. 

It’s like deciding you’re going to eat super healthy — then you fall ill with a stomach virus. Or you want to start working out but you break a leg. But if you poll my healer friends and I…we’ll tell you we’ve had everything from strokes to all-out near-death experiences. One of my “best” healing crises of all time was getting hit by a red-light runner in November 2014. I literally couldn’t get my poop in a group for two weeks. 

It’s when you’re about to overcome some huge obstacle in life and you’re about to hit the next level — but something injures you or you get sick with some ancient plague resistant to all modern drugs. Or something like that. 

I’m in a healing crisis.

I was (and am still) about to up-level something huge in life that’s been in the works for years. So what happens? I lose my voice and partially lost hearing in one ear. 

WTF? 

What I am learning is I had to lose my voice to find it. (More on that in a future blog, of course). 

Back to the original question though — why are healers always sick? 

I know it would be great if I were this amazing healer who has perfect health who never gets sick. In that case, I’d be on top of a gorgeous hill in some place like Sedona, practicing out of a yurt and wearing flowing white robes, covered in crystal jewelry. You’d be traveling from far and wide to pay me your life savings knowing I’d cure you on the spot. It would be amazing. But I only know one person like this. His name of John of God and he lives in Brazil! 

Sorry, I’m not John of God, y’all. Looks like I need a trip to Brazil myself. <<sips more tea>> 

It’s a simple answer. The Universe tortures us healers so we can take what we learned in hell to bring it to you so you suffer less. (Ever notice many of us are ex-addicts?)

It’s some sort of clandestine deal we make with our angels before we come to Earth. “You’re going to be a healer, so you will have challenges to overcome, but it will make you a better healer, so suck it up,” I imagine my angels told me this before I came here. 

I went to coaching school and learned from my masters how to do Reiki but they could only teach me so much. There are things healers can only learn through hardship — the suffering is optional. I’ve decided in this current healing crisis that I refuse to suffer. Hardship is fine and I can accept it because I know I’m about to learn so many lessons I can bring to you. There are things healers can only learn through experience. What I needed to learn in this life wasn’t going to be found in school or books. 

I’m finding it within. 

So why are healers always sick? 

Because it’s just the deal. It makes us better healers. 

The time has come to focus on research-supported Reiki information & more

This post contains an affiliate link the author can earn money from if you choose to purchase from it.

Hard work often includes 2/3 of the above pictured items when it comes to this blog.

Hard work often includes 2/3 of the above pictured items when it comes to this blog.

My goal as a coach and Reiki Master with a journalism background is to always bring you the best content I possibly can. 

From this point forward, I am going to start sharing any and all research on Reiki I can find. 

I'll be offering Scientifically-supported Reiki teachings from this point forward. I've done a ton of Reiki sessions and shares. I've taught Reiki to many. But not one of those classes or sessions mentioned science. 


So let's change this. 

Science is important to me. Science is life. Literally. 

In 2004, my life was forever changed when my mother died. Not only was her passing explosive, but what further blew my life apart was finding out she was killed by a genetic neurodegenerative disease there is no cure for (yet). It's called Cruetzfeldt-Jakob Disease, or CJD. I was so shook by this experience, I began a very uncensored internet presence about it and then a blog.

In 2013, I chose to get sober. I had quit using drugs in 2001, but this time I was going to quit drinking booze for good. And I did. I have succeeded. I've been sober since 7-1-13. But I didn't go to treatment, or "rehab" as many call it. I attended 12-step programs and hired therapists. I went to church. I began to know God. I tried Christianity, Buddhism, NA, AA, and Refuge Recovery. I was the biggest 12-stepper and Al-Anon freak you ever would have met six years ago.

But there was absolutely no scientific basis behind any of my recovery. 

What I know from the past several years is Reiki works. Abstinence from mind-altering substance use/abuse works (for me). Not using mind-altering substances and changing my behavior works. Adopting new ways of living and coping to be healthy works. I'm happier, more productive, and successful than I have ever been in my life. 

But what I can't tell you is how all this stuff works! 

This needs to change. No one should be giving out information that isn’t proven to work by science. So today, I threw out my AA “Big Book,” into the trash, where it belongs. Happy independence day to me!

I want to change the lack of science and proof in the Reiki/coaching field from here on out. I want to share what is scientifically supported for both Reiki and sobriety (I hesitate to use the word “recovery” as I am currently reading The Freedom Model). 

I'm not going to tell you it works and hope you believe me. I'm not a charlatan. I want to find the research that shows what's working and how. I want to stop doing what research isn’t supporting to be true while, at the same time, adding in what science proves to work well.

I want you to get the best here and I never want you to think you're wasting your time. 

I know I get results in what I do as a coach and I know this by experience. Now, I want to find the science to show why it works and I want to apply it. 

This is my promise to you -- that this is going to get better. The quality of information here is going to increase steadily. I don't want you to buy into Reiki and sobriety without knowing how it will benefit you. 

When I say this is happening from this moment forward, I truly mean I am just now starting to look into the research and digest it for you. Reading studies is boring. Why would you? But I, however, am just the sort of geek who will enjoy digging in and regurgitating it to you in a way that doesn't suck. 

Please tell me what you’d love to know about Reiki — and I’ll answer and look for research about it. Let me know in the comments!

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The Reiki Room

At White Dove in Wichita, KS. This is where I do Reiki.

My quest for all-natural skincare 

This post contains affiliate links; the author may receive payment when you purchase through these links. All relationships to each product reviewed are fully disclosed below.

A quest for all-natural skincare involving:

  • Acnedote by Alba Botanica (I paid for)

  • Tree of Life Retinol Serum (I paid for)

  • Alaffia African Black Soap (I paid for)

  • Yeouth Vitamin C&E Serum with Hyaluronic Acid (comped product)

  • Pacifica Vegan Hot Mask (I paid for/discontinued but seemingly available on this Amazon link at the time of this writing).

  • Pacifica Alight BB Cream (I paid for)

  • Pacifica “Contact High” perfume oil roll-on (I paid for)

  • General reference to LaRoche Posay products, which I no longer use (I paid for)

  • Mention of Hotworx workout studio (I pay for my membership)

Yeouth Vitamin C Serum.JPG

Yeouth

Vitamin C & E Serum with Hyaluronic Acid

I’ve used 2/3 of the bottle in two months, so you get a good amount for a low price.

(Around $20).

My first question is, "how natural can I get?"

Am I going to have to make my own lip balms in my kitchen, or am I simply decreasing my exposure to harmful chemicals?

Secondly, will this make a difference in my skin?  

I've narrowed it down and one or two bath products are making me rash out...either it's a bag of epsom salts that are churched up with essential oils -- it it's some bath bombs that I'm sure are far from "natural" or "organic." 

Here are the issues I must resolve: 

*Aging facial skin

*Breakouts

*Dryness

*Clogged pores

*Keratosis pilaris (arms)

Will natural products do it? Let's find out. Here's my motivation: 

*I realize the stuff I'm using has all kinds of chemicals in it. Preservatives, endocrine disruptors, things that cause cancer, breakouts? Who knows? 

*Minimalism in ingredients will help me narrow down what I am reacting to

*I have been trying to "dry out" my acne but my skin is aging and drying out on its own. Oh, but the top of my forehead still thinks it's 15 years old... 

Hits and misses so far on skincare products both natural and synthetic: 

First of all, Acnedote does work really well. It's popular and the lady at Whole Foods tells me they sell a lot of it. I picked up the last one on the shelf. That was over a month ago. I recommend it but with the caveat that it can be drying.

Second of all, the lady at Whole Foods recommended Alaffia African Black Soap, which is only $4. She said it was really clearing up people's skin. I tried it. Meh. Using that along with Acnedote was far too drying for me. Using it without Acnedote was no different than using any other soap or cleanser. There was nothing special about it. 

Third, I discovered Pacifica Vegan Hot Mask at Sprouts but I got the last one and it was on closeout. I love this stuff! I hoped wasn’t not discontinued, so I emailed Pacifica to ask. They told me it’s gone and not coming back. Sadness. (Again, I did find it on Amazon for however long that lasts. Don’t buy them so I can buy them all).

I am quickly falling in love with Pacifica products. 

I just started using Alight BB Cream. Holy Wow, what good stuff! The tone is deceiving on their products, something that was clearly evident from Amazon reviews. Most of those said it was too dark for light skin tones and I'm pale. So I tried it in store at Sprouts. Tone matching? The Alight BB Cream actually does it. 

The alternative to the Alight BB Cream comes out way too dark on my skin. I found this to be true to the Amazon reviews. Yet there is nothing dark enough for BIPOC. Interesting disparity, Pacifica. I hope you work to increase what’s available for ALL skin colors. 

Finally, I found a really great product I love and highly recommend. It's an all-natural retinol that had great Amazon reviews. It's a small skincare company, Tree of Life Age Defying Beauty, started by a woman and they don't pay for marketing so they pass that savings onto you. 

Can you tell I'm visiting ALL the stores for research? Ulta, Whole Foods, Sprouts, and Amazon online so far…

Prior to this all-natural bender I started, I've been a Walgreens girl. I've been using LaRoche-Posay a friend recommended. (Which btw isn’t sold at every Walgreens store, so check the LaRoche Posay website before you go). These products are great, but I was still breaking out. It's a great line of affordable, dermatologist-recommended skincare products. It did clear up my skin for a while. 

The next part of this wellness & beauty blog is diet and supplementation.

Yes, I now demand wellness with my beauty — not just one or the other! 

By no means am I a medical or nutritional professional and this blog isn’t mean to diagnose or treat any disease. 

I've upped my Zinc and Vitamin A intake as well as my consumption of essential fatty acids. I'm also making an effort to stay hydrated due to my workouts at Hotworx. (More on that in a previous blog). 

What about Vitamins for the skin applied topically? 


Vitamin C products are all over the store shelves in ALL the aforementioned stores. So what will applying it topically do for my skin? 

Plenty has been written already, like this article about Vitamin C products being the most-searched for beauty items of 2017.

Sure, I want to boost collagen! I want my skin to be more luminous! I want to repair damage. 

Will it give me enough of a collagen boost to fill the lines? I gave up smoking but the lines at the side of my mouth remain. Using all those acne-drying products didn't help... 

I’ve been trying a Vitamin C Serum being sent to me by Yeouth skincare. (In full disclosure, they aren't paying me but they have comped me a bottle of product in return for a review). 

I’ve tried it since May and I love it! I put it on my face right when I get out of the shower in the morning, put on an eye cream, then the Alight BB Cream. I find the Alight is a great moisturizer as the Yeouth Vitamin C serum is a clear serum — NOT a moisturizer. Unless you’re really oily, you will likely want something moisturizing to put on after it. Alight works for me.

I chose to try retinol first to get rid of the acne and scars from it. Just know it's still a bit drying. I do love this retinol product though! I tend to put some natural skincare oil on my face after the retinol at night that I still have leftover from my direct sales days… I’ll most likely replace it with argan oil when it runs out. 

What are your experiences with all-natural skincare products? Superior or not? Hit up the comments with your experiences. (Plugs for direct sales stuff will be deleted). 

Yeouth etc flat lay.JPG

Faves:

Pacifica Alight BB Cream, Pacifica “Contact High” scent, Alba Botanica Acnedote, Yeouth Vitamin C & E Serum w/Hyaluronic Acid, and Tree of Life Beauty Retinol Serum

Side notes on natural scents:

Pacifica scents are amazing and I have been loving "Contact High" roll on perfume oil. A scent without drying alcohol in it? YES to that. I love all the Pacifica scents I tried at Ulta, so it was hard to settle on just one but this was my clear favorite.


Want me to review your natural product? Fill in the form:

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Reasons to join the Destiny Architecture Patreon community

Need a reason to become a Patron? I have a few for you:

  • I’ve made it affordable for you, not just in money — but in time, too. Join for between $3-250/mo. The low tier is for those just starting out and the high tier is for those who want to jump into the mastermind.

  • You get to become a part of the Reiki ebook I am starting to write. Yes, you can have a shout-out in the book. But I really want your opinions and experiences too! (Right now I am in the research and outline phase).

  • You get to be part of a community I am calling in. If you are looking for like minds, I am looking for you. If you love a blend of coaching, Reiki, creativity, LOA, and spirituality, I am your coach!

  • There will be group coaching! I’ve done group coaching for years as a sober coach running pre-treatment groups. I love and thrive in this setting as a coach! Imagine what the group can do for you.

  • Benefit from a coach who has spent a decade honing her personal development practice; who has spent more than four years coaching street addicts; and who is also certified in coaching by the Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts — an actual college certified by the Arizona Board of Regents.

Here’s a price listing so you can see how low you can join for and start up-leveling your life with the coaching I’m creating for you on Patreon.

To learn more about the Mastermind level, check that out here.

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What I’ve learned from six years of sobriety

It’s my sober birthday today! I’m six years sober! Yay! 

I’ll be brief. There’s a ton of stuff happening behind the scenes and I’ve had little time to work on this blog or the Patreon for the past WEEK. (Hence no #LOAMonday last week or this week — I’ll catch up). 

Since I've written some blogs, I’ll post those soon. 

For now, I’ll give you my TL;DR version of what six years of sobriety has taught me. 


I’m a unicorn 

Rare, bright, and colorful… But mostly rare. I don’t go to meetings anymore, I no longer believe in 12-step programs, I’d rather die than sit around and aimlessly talk without a goal in mind… I never went to detox or treatment, aka “rehab.” I never lived in an Oxford House… There are so many things I just didn’t do or didn’t fit into and that’s OK. I’m still sober and six years have passed! 

Some people just get sober 

I see a lot of people “in the rooms” get a free pass for bad behavior just because, “Well, they didn’t relapse!” When I say “bad behavior” I am talking about behavior which harms other people. This is part of the reason why I avoid “the rooms.” Some people JUST get sober and that’s it. They never grow beyond abstinence. They still behave badly, refuse to grow, and never gain new skills. You have to gain new skills for coping, emotional intelligence, career, cooking, life, etc. 

Dating still sucks 

I have yet to find a dating app that doesn’t list a person’s drinking preferences in their profile. It truly shouldn’t matter. People are going to lie about it anyway — even if only to themselves. 

The fact that alcohol is still a big part of dating and that this social construct revolves around it to this extent is something we need to move beyond. 

But I am also in Kansas, where men’s dating pics show them posing with a fish they caught. So it’s whatever. 

I’m kinda over coins 

I used to be super excited about my birthday and I’d pick out a “bling coin” for myself online. Now, I could care less. Let’s eat some cake and have a few laughs. Celebrating two birthdays a year (sober and born day) is still pretty cool. 

There is so much more out there then they are even telling you about! 

This is for the newly sober and/or struggling. There’s so much more out there for you after you get sober. There’s more than the 12-steps. There’s more than I’ve even been able to try yet. I tried SMART Recovery (online) and loved it. Now I’m reading “The Freedom Model” and feel completely validated just a couple chapters in! 

Normies always want to know what drug you used 

There’s so much labeling in sobriety. The normies do it. Even the people “in recovery” do it. 

I’m not “in recovery” 

I’m a retired alcoholic and drug addict. Calling myself an addict or alcoholic in the present tense isn’t my truth. I haven’t touched drugs in 17 years. I haven’t touched booze in six years. So if you don’t do something anymore, what are you? Retired! I’m retired. 

I have grown to reject the idea I’m a constant piece of shit that can’t trust herself and needs to be fixed and is ready to relapse at any point in time. 

I don’t like “recovered” either, because I have a lot of 12-step de-programming left to do. Are we all recovering from something? Maybe not. The idea of calling myself “a recovering addict” as if I am still recovering from addiction after six years…just doesn’t make sense. 

By the way, this is the language the government prefer we use. I reject it. 

Perhaps activism is the best route 

I truly love helping people. Sometimes, I think the best route would be through just doing the work as an activist. I’d love to bring the Church of Safe Injection here, have Narcan all over my city, a needle exchange, and drug testing tents at every concert. I’m in the Midwest. We’ll see… 

6 year sober me .JPG

Sober 6 years

Thanks for the love!

A return to Reiki 

I never really left Reiki in my own life, it’s always been there.

But I did leave my Reiki business. I stopped going to the store where I offered Reiki sessions -- White Dove in Wichita, Kansas. I stopped doing them in person in Wichita at all. I offered them online-only, wanting to concentrate more on my distance Reiki offerings and adding Reiki to my coaching sessions. 

I have never offered Reiki attunements online and firmly believe anyone who does is cheating you. You’ll get a certificate but you’re cheated of the experience. (I’ve already blogged about this years ago here). 

This website/blog and its coaching services have been my focus for almost three years now! 

I decided I’d put all my Reiki energy into writing a Reiki ebook. I figured I’d just stop offering in-person Reiki sessions and classes for a while. Instead, I’d sit on my meditation cushion with my laptop and let the book happen. I wanted to offer something new (and I still will in time) before I would open up my local Reiki business again. 

Make plans, the Universe laughs

But then someone wanted a Reiki session in Wichita, and I said “yes” to the Reiki and to the guidance of the Universe. I just did a session two weekends ago! Yes! 

I asked for a sign, waited, didn’t get it, so I moved on. Then, the Universe reminded me signs are on her timing and not mine… haha 

So I guess I’m offering Reiki again at White Dove! 

This is not to say there won’t be changes up ahead. That’s the adventure of life. 

My schedule is insane at the moment and will likely remain that way through at least half of July, if not this entire month. I’ll keep updating my availability on my Acuity page here

I’m also adding it to the bottom of this post for your convenience as well.

When you purchase a service (Reiki or coaching session) on this website in the store, it doesn’t let you pick a block of time on my schedule like the Acuity link does, so expect some emailing back and forth with me. 

When you purchase a downloadable PDF here on the site, it sends you a link to your download that is good for 24 hours. 

If you are interested in Reiki or Coaching sessions, but have more questions, just let me know. I have some freedom this month, but won’t be able to honor last-minute requests.

This is as close to “making plans” as I’m going to get because the Universe has NOT stopped laughing at me! 

I am hoping to come up with Reiki hours at White Dove so that I can become consistent in my offerings there. I just have no idea what they will be or when that will start. I’m going to just say I hope to make them afternoon hours…Is that broad enough? 

More to come…

Return to Reiki.jpg

#LOAMonday No. 14: This isn’t about greed — it’s about abundance

By now, we’ve talked 13 times about the Law of Attraction and we’ve barely cracked the surface, Destiny Architects! 

I want to shift gears into something I don’t see very often in mindset coaching around LOA. 

#LOAMonday No. 14.jpg

You are enough.

You have enough!

Everyone tells you it’s all about attracting money in — but what about managing what we already have? 

Seriously! 

I used to think that I had to get money, all the money, as much as possible. I used to fantasize about winning the lottery, which is a nasty money lesson taught to me by my grandfather. The man was devoted to few things — gambling, beer, lotto tickets, and the weekly National Enquirer. (How I grew up to be a journalist in that family is beyond me). 

There’s a cacophony online of people telling you that you need more.

They sell you and idea that you can do it! You can attract more wealth! Get more! Be greedy! No “thing” is too much for you to have! Put it on your vision board! Act “as if!” Idolize money! Make your vision board/stacks of cash your screen background on your phone! 

Ok, I actually do have that as my phone lock screen most days — haha. I can laugh at myself. (I just switched it to a scene of Venice, Italy, a city I really want to travel to). 

Not all of those coaches would be wrong, either.

I am all about LOA and attracting abundance — but without sounding cringey or disconnected from reality. It cannot be about “getting money” all the time. That’s exhausting. 

So let’s give thanks for the abundance we already have. I just uploaded a gratitude PDF worksheet to the FREE STUFF page for you. 

Then let’s do something radical — let’s properly manage what we already have. 

I saw a statistic recently about how most Americans live paycheck to paycheck and would be broken by a simple household expense of around $400 as they have NO money in savings. 

This tells me maybe the “abundance movement” has gone a little too far into one direction — the “get money” direction. Which inevitably puts a lot of people right back into the feeling of lack, which is not the place to create abundance from. Not. At. All. 

So a few basic questions today for your consideration: 

  • Do you budget for savings? For emergency expenses? 

  • Do you have a retirement account you put money into — and then don’t touch it? 

  • Do you live on less than you make? 

  • Do you have at least some change in a jar in your house? An envelope of cash under your mattress? Something?

These are the logical and basic tenets of money management you don’t often hear from those who spout LOA right and left. 

Also, let me say I am a transformational life coach — NOT — a financial coach, teacher, manager, or advisor. This blog isn’t meant to give advice. What I do want you to do is think critically about the information you’re receiving. 

I’ve recently made a game of saving in the past couple weeks.

I’m even keeping a savings diary. I’m heavily into my apps like Ibotta, Stash, and Ebates. I’ve been challenging myself to save as much as I can when I shop for groceries at Whole Foods — because you can now! 

Did you know you can actually save money at Whole Foods? 

Here’s how:

  • Get an Amazon Prime membership for those Prime Member deals. 

  • Use your Square cash card for 5% off each visit (up to $7.50 each hour)

  • Ibotta totally has deals at Whole Foods — I never knew until two weeks ago! 

I am always looking for savings now.

I think it comes from my recent decluttering obsession in which I came face to face with all the crap I owned. I’m trying to steer myself more and more towards minimalism as time goes on. It’s been a “Kon Mari” party in my home for a while. This weekend, I got rid of even more junk I’d been “saving” because “I may need it.” 

Who wants a house full of “just in case” stuff? Not me. I want to live with purpose, like I mean it.

More importantly, I want to enjoy the abundance, security, and stability of a savings account along with a retirement fund. I was a party girl in my 20s and 30s so I lost a lot of years of being able to save money. It’s never too late! Begin where you are and start saving. Nothing can make you feel more abundant daily. 

So go shake those couch cushions… 

Here are some money managing and saving ideas to start with — before you get into a dead end of LOA I see so many jump into: 

Join Ibotta (and if your’e so inclined use my referral code: “acmsron.”) You’ll earn cash back while you shop in the app and then you can cash out or get a gift card. 

Are you Doshing? 

You link your cards in the Dosh app and then earn cash back when you shop at certain places. The app will tell you where to go and even has a map to help you out. For example, I can earn 4% cash back today at Dunkin Donuts! I just started and haven’t used it yet but did earn $5 just for setting up a debit card with Dosh. (Here’s my code if you’re into it: HEATHEL289). 

Don’t shop without Ebates! 

Ok, I hate shopping. But when it’s inevitable I go to buy shoes or clothes, I am checking my Ebates app first. For example, there’s an 8% cash back deal right now on Tarte cosmetics, Hotwire, and up to 10% cashback on Travelocity. I actually haven’t used it yet (because I really do hate shopping) but I may give it a whirl this weekend. 

The Square cash app is my secret weapon. 

I’ve had a Square cash card forever as I’ve been accepting payments through the service for years, ever since I started my Reiki business. Square offers “boosts,” which you have to manually switch before you swipe your card. But in addition to the 5% off at Whole Foods, there’s also $1 off at any coffee shop (which I use way too much), and they just added Door Dash for 15% off each order. 

I think they key here is to remember you’re going to save a little bit here and there. There are a good number of “cash back” shopping options above. 

I am also getting into my Stash app, which earns me “stock back” for my retirement fund.

It’s not a knockout punch. I earned one cent last week running my card on a $5 purchase. But you can automate your savings on Stash so you don’t have to think. Before I knew it, I had $35 in my savings.

My key move right now is to focus on saving tiny bits here and there to train myself to save more. Like any other lifestyle change, my goal is to make saving a longterm habit that I just get better at. 

I’m working to eliminate and and all forms of instant gratification out of my life. What’s the antidote to instant gratification? Creating a long-term savings plan!

I know absolutely nothing about personal finance nor was I taught anything healthy about money growing up. I’m currently rehabbing that — so guess where LOA Monday is going for a little while? 

We are going to start working on rehabbing negative money lessons! Part of this is because I listen to T. Harv Eker almost daily. Another part of this is I’m not the only person cleaning a negative money story. Now that I’ve been working so hard on mine, it really jumps out at me when friends say something crazy.

Next week, we are going to unpack some of those crazy things we say that we actually believe about money. They aren’t true, real, or logical. But we believe them anyway! 

Want a jump start until then?  Then I highly recommend T. Harv Eker’s “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” or Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass at Making Money.” 

Top blog posts of May 2019 for Destiny Architects (that's YOU!)

To say May 2019 was a month to be remembered in my life forever would be an understatement. Defined b the death of my beloved cat, huge a-ha moments and pivots, extreme decluttering… Thanks for being there through it all.

Going in descending order from fifth to #1 most popular Destiny Architecture blog for last month…

Actually, looking back, I am not even sure how I managed to get any blogging and vlogging done at all. This month, I’m even more busy — but with good things. Last month was a test in survival skills!

Blog #5 


You loved Vlog No. 7, which is all about my consistent love affair with my Best Self Co. Self Journal. 

This is a planner. It’s a journal. It’s a system. 

If you love any of the above-mentioned things, checking out this planner is hashtag-worth-it! 

Maybe you checked it out because I have a discount code? Worth sharing again: 

Go to BestSefl.co and ORDER ONLINE WITH MY CODE “HEATLAR” FOR A 15% DISCOUNT! 

I will NOT forget to re-order again! I cannot go without this thing. Also, my friend does sales for Barnes & Noble so I managed to teach TWO BN staffers about this revolutionary product. 

I think I want to also purchase the four-pack of Self Journals in the near future too. 

With this new Self Journal of mine, which will keep me gassed up and goal oriented into September, I tried a new tactic. Yes, it’s something you have to make some effort with. You have to move into it by at least filling in the dates and your goals. I took it a step further this edition though — 

I wrote in pep talks, goals, notes from online workshops I’m taking, and I sticker it up to pretty it up and make it even more motivating. I scheduled things randomly throughout it. These are things I want to do but seem to forget about like getting car washes and making time for yoga Nidra. 

Try this. Start scheduling those things that hit your back burner. No one else is going to do it for you! 

https://destinyarchitecture.com/blog/2019/5/30/vlog-7-im-in-love-with-the-best-self-co-planner-the-self-journal

Blog #4

In the question I asked myself today of, “Should I just keep it simple for the Destiny Architects and post a top three, or go all the way to a top five?” The answer is do the damn five! 

If I didn’t include at least five, you wouldn’t get this blog on this list, ICYMI.

So many people checked out this blog when I posted it that I received an alert through my website platform. All I know is that it resonated instantly — I don’t know why. 

My guess is that grief resonates. Especially pet grief, which we could talk about more.

Trying to become more resilient resonates. We are ALL grieving, trying to move on, and trying to rebuild from some disaster in our lives.

So here’s how I’m doing it. 

I have tried so hard to stay on my game for the past month! And I have to some extent. I have ended up pouring myself into work. There was also a good couple weeks where I didn’t want to be home and I think I just lived wandering my city and hanging out in coffee shops with my laptop and headphones. 

Sure, the vlogging fell off and that’s OK. Some bills were paid off — but not all. (I just got another damn dental bill!!!!) 

I’m still pouring out content for you on this site (check out the new FREE STUFF page) and on the Patreon

What I have learned from this experience is stuff I already knew — but had to be reminded of! 

Don’t give up. 

Just show up and try to get something done when you don’t feel like it. If it really isn’t meant to be, you’ll know, you can take a break. But often, I surprised myself by showing up when I didn’t want to. (If you have suffered depression and anxiety as I have, this will hit home sharply). 

https://destinyarchitecture.com/blog/2019/5/20/how-to-live-your-life-while-grieving

Blog #3 

Vlog No. 2 for Destiny Architects! 

I admit, my vlog-a-day momentum this month has been crushed. I’m working too much! It’s a good problem to have for me at the moment and I’m enjoying it. Not going to lie though — I love having my personal time off. The almost-daily vlog habit I have begun will return. Soon. I have a day off coming on June 23! 

At which point…I may or may not vlog! Or I may vlog today. I have a couple free hours left. Of course, I want to spent them with you, Destiny Architect! I’ve been building this blog/coaching business for nearly three years. YOU are where I’m at! Thanks for being here. 

I hope you’re enjoying this content roundup today. 

Vlog No. 2 is where I start addressing the perfection-shunning ideas that made me impulsively jump into creating vlogs. 

I have no idea how long a vlog is supposed to be. I probably ramble. I probably go off on tangents. You may catch some halfway decent jokes. And no, I have not watched these back yet! 

Knowing I’m imperfect and these vlogs are all over the place… feel free to give me your reviews in the comments! This will save me from having to watch these… LOL! I’ve been in radio for 21 years so I know the value of listening back to my recordings. I’ll get there, promise. This is how we improve! 

What questions can I answer for you in these vlogs? Fire away! 

https://destinyarchitecture.com/blog/2019/5/11/blog-2-for-destiny-architects

Blog #2

The second most-read thing on my website wasn’t a blog at all but a sale on coaching services last month! 

Actually, this week’s Summer Solstice discount code is even better than last month’s sale, to be completely open and honest. 

As we celebrate the solstice — a magical, longest day of the year — use the code, folks! I’ll be adding summer content all weekend long and next week to help you make the most of this solstice we get! 

The code is SOLSTICE2019 for half off: 

https://destinyarchitecture.com/life-coaching-services-products/5-life-coaching-sessions 

Use code _SOLSTICE2019_ for 50% off anything and everything until midnight on the summer solstice!.jpg

SALE!

This code is live all week long until Midnight Friday, June 21!

50% off EVERYTHING in the story and NO LIMITS!

I want you to get coaching and Reiki!

Top blog of May 2019: #1

I started vlogging — and this has been the most popular one. I have no idea what I am doing. I haven’t read a book on how to vlog and I follow barely a handful of vloggers. 

But this topic is important to me. So I’m glad it received some views. Hopefully it’s the people who need to hear it who are watching it. 

I’m NOT coloring my logo with Pride colors for the month because this business supports LGBTQ YEAR ROUND. I am NOT doing the gimmicky thing. To be true allies, we must support our LGBTQ community year-round. You don’t just get one month of trendy lip service here. The lives of my LGBTQ friends and family depend on our support 24/7/365 and NOT when it’s the “in thing” to do but when it’s NOT the popular thing to do. Like on a weekend after a child takes their own life. That’s when this vlog was made. 

Thank you. 

https://destinyarchitecture.com/blog/2019/5/11/vlog-3-for-destiny-architectsand-everyone-else

So...I was thinking about starting a Reiki practice again in Wichita

Does anyone remember when I used to offer Reiki sessions and lessons in Wichita at White Dove?

I had a business, You Deserve Reiki, which had this website. I used to have a booth at the Alternative & Holistic Fair in Park City, Kansas quite often as well.

But I got out of it for a variety of reasons. I didn’t have a reliable car to make it to sessions in a timely manner, or I had no car at all. Working in social work for 40 hours a week, which I no longer do, had me burnt out on helping others. I also was working a few years back on completing my 100-hour transformational life coaching certification at SWIHA — albeit online. Suffice to say…I was busy.

I decided to let the website go and shuttered the name itself, “You Deserve Reiki,” because I think I made my point:

You deserve it!

But unfortunately, I was attracting a lot of people therefore who actually didn’t feel they really deserved it…it became a sparse moment in their life, just a little Reiki here and there every few months.

Wait, you do reiki_.jpg

Yes, I do!

Are you interested? Fill out the form below.

So I paid Aunt Helen and Zandra a visit at White Dove today — yes, Dale was there, too! It seems no one has been doing Reiki at White Dove for a minute. My Reiki room is a storage unit as Dale has a pop-up shop at the Sunset Spiritualist Camp in Wells, Kansas currently.

So Reiki sessions and classes aren’t happening this minute, but…

Would you be interested in me bringing them back? Is there still enough interest in the intuitive and healing Reiki sessions I provide?

I am hearing there’s a ton of people offering Reiki around Wichita now?

Are you still interested in Reiki with me?

If there’s an interest, I’ll bring it back! Maybe one afternoon each week? Whatcha think? If you’re interested, leave a comment and/or fill out the form below.

Name *
Name

Vlog #7: I'm in love with the Best Self Co planner -- The Self Journal

Back to life, back to reality! (90s kids will get this).

I’m deep into preparing my new planner for my next 13 week jaunt into goal-crushing paradise! I’m a very nerdy life coach, can you tell?

If you are interested in purchasing the Best Self Co. planner, aka the Self Journal, visit their website and order online with my code “HeatLar” for a 15% discount!

I show it off in the video, you can see how many I’ve had and why I love them! Enjoy!

The Bounce Back: How to get out of your own way and become more resilient

Resiliency is possible if you let it happen

I have been shattered in the month of May by the loss of my beloved cat, Rupert.

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Rupert.

4/5/17 to 5/18/19.

RIP to my littler stealer of cotton swabs, bedsheets, and hearts.

On May 16, he was fine, I was fine, my other cat was fine too, and life was ALL fine. Then it turned to chaos with a sick Roo on the 17th. Things changed quickly on the 18th and I had to euthanize a cat that was only two years old.

To say he was my "baby" would be an understatement.

To recover from the sudden grief, I zoned out and relaxed the following week. I engaged in self-care which was mostly sleeping.

I was off my game, which is understandable. I had started the month of May with fantastic goals including paying off a stack of bills and doing a "30-days-in-May" fitness challenge at the workout studio I attend. Needless to say, my fitness hit the back burner although I did do OK on the bills considering the extra unplanned expenses (of which there were many, not just the cat). But I did OK on this because I damn miracle fell out of the sky!

It was an expensive month. Starting anything new was shelved. My personal decluttering mission was almost derailed for good when the cat died.

But I am beginning to feel a little like myself again this week. I picked up a project again Wednesday and am uploading Vlog #7 as I write this…

Oh yeah, I started getting into vlogging before my cat got sick. I was posting almost a vlog a day.

I was really feeling overall like I was about to slay the month of May!

Then I crashed physically, mentally, and emotionally. I even caught some kind of cold/allergy/sinus affliction and missed a day at work. I published nothing last week.

The bounceback.jpg

BounceBack

Resiliency is yours for the taking. Remember who you are and what you want!

But then something amazing happened and I think it’s because I allowed myself the time and grace to crash last week. I began to feel better on Monday; I began to feel more like myself. Tuesday, the cold kicked my butt (and sinuses) again. Wednesday, I felt like I could push through and get back to working on projects.

That something that happened is resiliency.

I didn’t use to have resiliency. I didn’t use to bounce back two weeks after something bad happened to me. I’d get on a pity pot, feel sad and useless. Then I’d feel guilty for taking the time to feel bad, then I’d beat myself up, and then a lot more time than two weeks would pass with no progress being made.

I would get dragged down in negative feelings and minutiae. I’d feel bad for not “getting things done” or “letting people down.” I used to get stuck in grief. I also used to suffer from addiction at different points in my life — sometimes alcohol, drugs, or both. Throw in codependency and it was a huge pity party of paralyzation.

I don’t know how I didn’t learn to bounce back. I don’t quite know how I have learned to become more resilient. I credit age, experience, sobriety, and life coaching. I’m now a personal development chaser rather than a chaser of the always-elusive high.

Part of what I think makes me more resilient is working so hard towards my goals. I know what I want. My goals are clearly defined and I look at them daily. They are written in my planner and I spend time daily looking at my vision board. I understand now that time passes quickly and I don’t want to waste it. I did plenty of that when I was young.

My cats were on my daily gratitude list; my surviving cat still is. I have learned to take nothing for granted — not my cats, my car, my home, food — nothing. I spend time cultivating good habits like a daily gratitude practice and spending time in spiritual study.

I would hate to lose two weeks of time, motivation, and progress towards my goals! I hate losing momentum. I love what I do! I love to create content for my clients and I stay conscious of how much time I was taking away from my creative process in order to heal.

Losing that positive momentum is not OK with me. It’s just not congruent with my goals. I want them so badly, my “why” is quite firm, and I realized I’d have to get back to my work before I felt ready. That’s life. When people tell you, “Take all the time you need,” they don’t really mean for you to take an endless amount of time. Don’t drop off the face of the Earth.

There’s still a house to clean, jobs to do, people counting on me, my upset daughter, my boss, my clients, the car needs gas, I need to eat… You get the picture. Responsibilities don’t go away but we can be gentle while we heal. We can’t ever give up and we can’t lose perspective.

I have learned these things the hard way.

When something happens to extinguish your fire, let it.

Give yourself grace and space. Take that time to be sad, hurt, and then to heal. Get back to it quickly though. Get back to life before you’re ready. People will understand and give you some understanding. They will respect you for trying to keep your crapola together, but don't expect you to! (Anyone with selfish expectations when you go through a rough patch is showing you a red flag).

If you lack focus, you can get lost in a tragedy. You can be overwhelmed by trauma.

So HAVE YOUR FOCUS. Define it. Be clear about what you want. Because I guarantee you, when life turns into a dumpster fire and you get derailed, it’s going to be really easy to wonder, “Why should I go on?” Well, here’s why. Go back to your planner full of goals and your “why.” Go back to your vision board when times are tough. Remind yourself who you are and what you want. You aren’t done yet. Keep going. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you “mail it in” for a week and sleep a lot. But you’re surviving it. Some days, surviving is all we can do.

You can return to thriving in no time.

But there will be that nasty stage of putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe it lasts a week or a month or a year (depending on the severity of your tragedy or trauma). But as long as we have breath in our lungs, we have to persist.

Don’t give up.

#LOAMonday No. 12 -- Manifesting Through Sound

For today's #LOAMonday, let's talk about manifesting through sound.

What?

Yes -- sound! Say it out loud with me! (Insert personal affirmation here).

I've been going through some tough life stuff that was leaving me feeling like my life was a money pit and not at all like I was attracting abundance. I had a ton of unusual expenses in the past month like a huge electric bill, new contact lenses, dental problems, oral surgery, and vet bills. Sadly, my kitty wouldn't make it and I had to make a tough choice to euthanize him rather than have him suffer.

I've said it before on my #LOAMonday blogs -- the most important thing we can do to be better manifesters is to grab hold of the right feeling. I can repeat the affirmations all I want but I still have to become an energetic match for what I want to attract into my life.

I was feeling pretty low in the middle of all this when a friend told me I needed to listen to a specific audio recording with the right frequency to attract abundance.

She sent me the link to this video and I listened to it:

And I listened to it. And I listened some more. I started to listen to it while I slept. It's exactly 11:11:11 long, for those of us angel numbers geeks.

Within a week of listening to this, I attracted in a decent windfall that was better than I even asked for!

It was life-changing.

It brought me out of the doldrums immediately and not just for the dollar amount. I felt loved and taken care of all at once. What I'd been stressing about since mid-April with one expense popping up after another was totally eliminated.

It was a great reminder that stress is always unnecessary and the Universe always provides.

So listen to the above audio. Stop stressing and meditate on becoming an energetic match to what you desire! Speak your affirmations out loud. Use your voice and make sounds. It can be a mantra like "om." But it needs to be a nice sound like that...no grunting, groaning, heavy sighing, complaining, or Negative Nancy/Debbie Downer type sounds.

Sound.

What are you vibrating to? What are you listening to? Is it pop music with curse words and talk of guns, violence, sex, and drugs? Or are you listening to something positive? Are you watching a ton of TV and being bombarded with advertisements? Are you watching violent movies? Or are you into more vapid fare like those "housewives" or "keeping up" shows?

If we only spent more time "keeping up" with our own energetic vibration! We can change our circumstances and then ripple out to those around us. Think about it.

That's why I do this...

And no, I don't watch TV. I don't have cable. I don't have a single subscription service to Netflix, Hulu, etc. I really do listen to these audios like the one I shared above. I listen to Reiki music, "spa music," as I call it, ASMR, and Kirtan to keep vibrating high. I also listen to my share of popular music.

Hello! I have worked in radio since 1998! Music is a huge part of my life! I have autographed Korn and Rob Zombie albums hanging on my walls at home. I get it! I love me some Post Malone and Halsey sometimes... But I make sure that's the "dessert" or "junk food." My musical meals will have more substance and my sounds remain wholesome.

Also, I totaled up all my LOA Mondays so far and realized this will technically be the 12th one, so I'll start numbering them correctly from here on out. Hey -- the only numbers I'm good at are angel numbers!

How to live your life while grieving

Life can change in an instant.

Often, it’s the only way we change. Suddenly. Without warning. Life knows we are sluggish to change.

But this is also the way things work in this Universe. It’s best to let go because it’s all out of our human control.

I woke up Friday morning to a very sick cat. As I was about to walk out the door at 7:40 a.m., I realized something was very wrong with him as I saw him struggling to urinate. I rushed him to the vet — ending up at the walk-in vet as FOUR vet offices were booked solid for the day. The walk-in vet treated and released my sweet baby Rupert. He had a bladder infection but I was cautioned to keep vigilant as he could become blocked at any time. The vet taught me how to check for a blockage with a simple exam. With a medicated cat and armload of Hill’s c/d food, we headed home.

The next morning, Rupert was fine when I woke up. Just about two hours later, we were at the emergency vet, which I drove to in a thunderstorm. Ever take a cat to the vet in a thunderstorm? Not fun at all, especially not in the acute panic state I was in. I had felt a blockage in my cat. His bladder was full and hard. He was visibly blocked as well.

I made a tough decision.

I vow that no animal of mine will suffer and so I made the decision, based on what the emergency vet told me, to end Rupert’s suffering. She was not confident we could save him if she tried and he’d be in pain for days. He would suffer and possibly still not make it. Plus, this could happen again. This is what happens with neutered males and their anatomy. But you can’t not neuter! (Prior to his neutering, Rupert had serious behavioral issues which were fixed immediately upon surgery).

The life of an animal lover is hard because our furry friends don’t live forever.

Rupert was the best friend we could have had. We loved and appreciated him so much in his two short years. I am thankful for the gift I was given. After my cat of 11 years, Alcatraz, passed away in February 2017 passed away — also suddenly — my friend’s cat became pregnant. “Roo” came from that litter. I’ll spare you endless stories of how special he was.

I still have an elderly female cat we refer to as HRH Meeko, a.k.a “The Queen” or “The Boss.” She is heartbroken, naturally. I am awake checking the weather as it will be a storm chasing night with threat of a tornado outbreak here in the Midwest. How can I sleep at a time like this? HRH was asleep though — having a nightmare as evidenced by the noises she was making in her sleep. My sweet baby girl…

I am worn out on all levels. I am grieving. I wish I understood why the loss of a pet is so deep and painful. I’ve sobbed over losing pets much worse than I have for humans in my life. I’ve had many losses; I am used to death. But the soul and bone-shaking sobs I experience now (and with previous pet losses) are like no other grief. Maybe it’s because animals can’t talk. Maybe it’s because the bond we have with them is so unique and special.

But life does go on.

I still have goals and things I want to be doing other than this grief crap. It’s really inconvenient. I am still committed to self-mastery and enhancing my skills daily. I am still committed to my vlog-a-day challenge but now you know why I haven’t vlogged. If you saw the few Instagram stories I did post yesterday, you already know I’m just too sad for the vlog. It’s LOA Monday here and I just kinda sorta came up with a blog post then blew it off to write this one.

I’m therefore not going to go against the flow of things. It’s going to be a big self-care week. I am trying to rest but feeling restless. I’m eating well and taking my supplements in order to care for my physically exhausted body. I cried five hours straight on Saturday. My eyes, sinuses, and headache will have to heal. But if you’ve ever lived in Tornado Alley, you know my headache won’t go away until the storms do. We are on track for a possible outbreak of tornadoes here in Wichita today. I work for the severe weather radio station here. It’s going to be a long day. (At the time of this writing it is 3:00 a.m.)

I’ll keep my haircut appointment and continue eating right. That’s about all I know for now as far as self-care plans. Life cannot stop for grief and I wish I’d known that when I was younger and suffering much bigger losses in my life. I still worked Saturday night as we had a risk of severe weather in our area. But my team is awesome and totally supported me in that choice. I only work with awesome people!

I’ve worked really hard in the month of May and I don’t want to lose that momentum. But I may be a little quiet this week. I may or may not vlog. I may or may not contribute content to Destiny Architecture and hop on the Patreon… I may listen to sappy 1980s power ballads. I don’t know.

But I wanted to blog about what’s going on. I see a lot of people post a blog…then go silent for three months. I just want you to know I’m here. I’m engaged. I may be scarce for a moment. Between feeling my feelings and covering severe weather, it could be quiet around here today. YOU, my community, are still top of mind. If you want to book out next week or beyond, that’s fine. I don’t plan on being too present to coach others while I feel depleted myself. (Though I still have previous commitments I’m keeping this week).

Thank you for your love and support!

a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor..jpg

Vlog #5: Can we let go of perfectionism already?

I’m not perfect. I’m not Oprah. I’m not a big star online life coach with a perfect life.

I’ve had both serious success and a rock bottom — or two. They’ve been “high bottoms,” but for me — they were horrible! I moved halfway across the country in 2010 to follow a dream, had it, and left it. I’d trade none of my life experiences for anything. They were my teachers.

This is what I think about when I meditate on perfection.

What is the point? Seriously! What. Is. The. Point.

What do we get out of perfectionism?

It wastes time, money, hope, and dreams. It delays. It forces us into fear, anxiety, and procrastination. It shrinks us. We should always be expanding. There are times in life when you either grow into more or retreat into less, yes. I know this to be true. But if you’re unhappy in life, you’re going to need to try and expand.

If you want to grow and change you need to find a new edge! You need to get uncomfortable! And stay that way! Push that edge.

Like Steve Jobs said, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” He may have been the biggest perfectionist of all time. But he knew the power of making a mistake. When I say “Steve Jobs,” what is the first thing that comes to mind? Apple and his legacy, probably. But do you remember the Lisa computer? Probably not. That was his big failure and he moved on from it to create the massive success that is the Apple we know today.

There’s no such thing as overnight success. I’ve worked on this blog/website for nearly 3 years now!

Who cares about your failures? Just your haters. I hope mine have enjoyed mine from afar. Whatever. I do my things and I don’t care!