Fearless 5 Podcast episode #33 show notes

Ok, I’m going to be really honest. This past week of my life was atrocious.

This is what I do though — I’m raw, honest, and uncensored. So I, “tell it like it is,” as my friends say. This last week was a shit sandwich caught on fire… So I posted show notes for episode #31 like clockwork. Then, crickets all week. Not my norm. So thanks for sticking around. More episodes to come tomorrow & I will explain some of the chaos. But not all. Some of it is still in process and some of it involves other people.

I believe in turning my mess into my message.

The good news is I took Tuesday to sleep and rest. October 8 is a hard anniversary to get through so it became a day of self-care. I just napped and listened to audiobooks. It was a good thing, too. My Wednesday was legendary and not in a good way. Thursday, I was putting out fires. But I also prioritized what was important by seeing a friend in the hospital and handling things of my own. My friends would walk through fire for me. When one of them ends up in the hospital, I’m there. (Unless there’s a tickle in my throat; don’t be that person who goes to the hospital with germs).

Here’s a hint at next week’s Fearless 5 podcast episodes

What I’ve had to do this week spiritually is simply return to my spiritual kindergarten. It’s a back-to-basics vibe around here. Let me get back to the simplest of simple things — meditation. I pulled out my first CD of yoga music from 2005. When I say I am “returning to my spiritual kindergarten,” that’s what I mean. Let me get back to the roots of what got me to where I am today and share it with you.

But first: Show notes for Fearless 5 #33!

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#vanlife

Shall I sell it all and hit the road?

While it may not be #vanlife for me in 2019…I’m open to it happening in 2020. Talk about Fearless…

I’m looking at the first step as being more like having roommates and saving money but also renting an RV first to see if this is even what I really do want. What if I hate it? What if I sold all my stuff, hate it, and now have to start over, get a home again, dishes, a table… all that? 

I say, “face the fear and do it anyway” a lot, but there’s also another school of thought.

Face the fear — but do it responsibly. I’m not ready to buy an RV tomorrow and take off. I have no idea wtf I’m doing. But I AM READY to learn how to do it and prepare. I am ready to take the first baby steps on the path to the RV traveling life. 

I’ve had “travel blog” on my vision board for longer than I can tell you. There are a few other things as well that I really want. They are “must haves” in this bucket list life. And these things I want all align with the RV life. They all align with FREEDOM as in location-independence! I want to travel so bad. But, life. 

I’m coming up with a crazy plan that will be long-term but bring me all the things I want: the RV life, travel, a travel blog, location-independence, and most of all — FREEDOM. But can I actually do it? WILL I actually do it? Up next, WHY now. 

It’s the second week of October. Historically, for me, a hard week to get through. On October 8, 2004 it was the day my mother left her home for the emergency room and never came home. She died a month and two days later of CJD — which is genetic in our family. A ticking time bomb similar to ALS. I got tested but don’t know my results. I haven’t chosen to open them yet. Jesus, what IS in my DNA anyway? I’ve not been ready to find out if I have a death sentence or not. It’s 50/50. Anyway, I’m 40. People in my family have tended to die at age 56…so 15 years have passed since my mom died of CJD and I have only 15-16 years left IF my body is to do the same thing. 

You can read about our journey at my old blog, CureCJD.wordpress.com. Point is, I may not have that many years left to see the world or this continent. I joke every year at this time about how I’ll spend my mid-life crisis this year… But something about being 40 changes things. Time and circumstances add up. I’m actually LESS afraid to do crazy stuff now!