Yes, I know. It's LOA Monday, so why are you posting it on a Tuesday?
Because I had things to do yesterday! I am currently torn in a few different directions and therefore it's hard to balance it all. I don't know that there ever will be a moment when I go, "A-ha! That's it! I've achieved the balance I've always sought!" By the time I got a chance to sit down and write my LOA Monday post yesterday, it was my bedtime. Then I was tired and uninspired (two things that go together, really).
So, whatever. I'm an entrepreneur. This is my business. I don't have a boss. I am my own boss. If I want to post my LOA Monday blog on a Tuesday, I can and I will. I've also been blogging about how perfectionism is the enemy to all that is good, productive, and creative. Therefore, I will continue to choose to just get things done, even if it's late or imperfect!
Thank you for sticking with me as I'm a day late on this!
This week seems to have a real theme of victimhood going since yesterday and it has inspired this post.
First off, this post is NOT geared towards "victimhood" as in being the victim of a crime or any form of abuse and violence (alleged and/or prosecuted).
This post is geared towards ALL of us who ever played the victim card and felt like the world owed us something.
I say "us" because I used to play the victim card all the time. The world was happening to me. Life was happening to me and until it stopped happening all over me, I would not be OK. Couldn't I catch a break?
Wahhhhhhhh waaaaahhhhhhhh waaaaaaahhhhhhhh.
This was the hallmark of my years as an addict in active addiction and untreated codependent.
If you asked me what was happening in my life you would have gotten a sob story, a highly inappropriate venting with poor disclosure, and a list of who I blamed. I would have told you everything wrong with each person, too! It was all their fault, they wronged me, because of them I couldn't do something, they held me back, and wahhhhhhhhhhh!
Although my behavior was learned, behavior can be unlearned as well. It may not be my fault that I had it, but it was my responsibility nonetheless to eliminate it from my life. I did the work. Now I teach and coach.
There is nothing worse than that person who comes around just complaining about their life while refusing to change it. They just want an audience to complain about their drama. I used to be that person.
I also wasn't very abundant back then! Funny how that works, right?
Anytime someone comes to me with this victimhood attitude, I already know. I know they are broke, have few friends, aren't handling their finances, and are completely unhappy. I also know they aren't coachable. I refuse to engage with these types. If I can't coach you, I won't. (More on that in a moment).
If you're out of victimhood, I can coach you.
If you pull the victim card as my client, you face interrogation. I have a line of questioning that will cut you to the core. I am not here to waste time. I will get to the point and find a way to get you to see yourself in the truest light. It doesn't sound fun, but it works. It is my job to lead you to your a-ha moments and I do it well!
Here comes an a-ha moment.
Not feeling abundant? Ask yourself where you are on the scale of victimhood. Are your conversations with the few friends you have full of "venting?" (Venting is really complaining and whining). When venting, people offer you a rational solution but you keep going with your verbal vomit? Do you always have an excuse as to why you aren't doing what you want to do and it's usually someone else's fault? You often say, "I could but so-and-so won't______ or doesn't _________?" Because it would all be better if other people change their ways, right?
If this sounds like you, get off your ass and take control of your life. Stop trying to learn about LOA and all the lightworker stuff. The first thing you need to do is get some therapy to end your toxic and codependent behaviors. (Remember when I said earlier in this point that I won't coach you if I can't? If what you need is actually therapy, I'll refer you to someone qualified to provide that).
Get a handle on your own psychological world first before you think your spirituality will fix it. Don't fall for the spiritual materialism trap. If you want to change, there are logical, rational, and proven ways to do it. There's a proper way.
I say this because I've been there. I'm a blunt truth-teller as a coach. I am not going to put up with victimhood in my clients when what they really need is mental health help. The above behaviors can be overcome with therapy and whenever this is true of a client's situation, that's where my clients are referred.
I am not going to take your money for "spiritual coaching" when what you really need is mental health help. There's a difference between coaching and counseling. I know the difference and I am not here to scam you and tell you LOA or positivity is going to cure you of your problems.
This is part of the reason I became a certified coach. Professionalism is important to me as is bringing credibility to my field. I believe in coaching and what it can do. But coaching has limits!
Back to LOA...
If you are wanting abundance but aren't yet out of your victim behavior, that's a huge thing that's holding you back.
To get in alignment with abundance, you have to choose love over fear by getting out of victimhood. Abundance takes balls. (Told you I'm blunt!) If you take a leap of faith, the Universe will provide. This doesn't mean you get to make stupid decisions though. I took a leap of faith in 2010 that landed me in the Midwest with a job on the day I was down to my last $50. It just worked. But I planned the jump for all of 2010. It wasn't an impulsive leap at all!
Abundance is in alignment with love, not fear.
Abundance is in alignment with taking fearless leaps towards your dreams.
Abundance is aligned with making confident and well-informed decisions.
It is never aligned with "it's someone else's fault."
When you know you are the architect of your own destiny, you're starting to get this thing. You are creating your own life. You are making choices in each second of your life.
What do you choose to be aligned with?