Self-Care Sunday -- Mother's Day 2018

Self-care becomes more important as time goes on like I'm making up for lost time. (I am).

I did not grow up knowing self-care. It is not something you are taught in a family experiencing patterns of addiction and codependency. It was my natural urge as a human being -- yet early in life I was chastised and envied openly for taking any step toward self-care.

As an adult, I shamelessly take the time for me. Often I make it no one else's business.

My mother ached for self-care and always put others first.

It is time we, as a society, stop revering people for this. Especially women.

It is time we stop giving mothers one day a year for them to "do nothing," but to make it a practice as women to just TAKE OUR SELF-CARE and not be waiting for an occasion to let go. We must let go constantly.

It is not a virtue to put others first. It is a sickness.

It is a behavior we call codependency. Being "Co" is just as detrimental to our lives as active addiction to a substance or gambling is.

Let's make a goal to live harm-free lives, starting at home. Let's stop the self-harm and replace it with self-care. Let's replace neediness with independence, codependency with healthy interdependence. Let's show our children we are capable and passionate about filling our well so they grow up to do the same.

I think of my mother, so starved for oxygen as she put the mask on others first -- all the others. She put the needs of her child, her husband, and her parents above her own. She chose not to grow. That was not OK.

That is never OK!

If you are a mother with dreams on the back burner, I give you permission to move forward on them. Get that mani-pedi. Take the day off. Eat the lemon cake. Take that trip. Get the education. Apply for the job. Let others pick up some slack for once.

They will -- if you stop doing everything for them.

It's been nearly 14 years since I lost my mother to CJD. In that time, I've done the work to learn lessons in self-care for both of us. But the difference is I get to experience self-care while I am still alive and breathing. My daughter gets her nails done, goes to the gym, nurtures relationships, and thank God! I doubt she learned it from me, but I am just glad she does it!

Kick your feet up.jpg

Book online with me! I added new coaching & Reiki services!

New for summer

I wanted to make coaching more simple and affordable for summer break as I was inspired by an educator friend who has the summer off and wants to make the most of her time.

I created options for those who really want to grow with multiple sessions -- but who are on a budget.

A life coaching session a week for an entire month won't cost more than $250. If you want two sessions a week of coaching for a month, it's $600. That is it! If you want to get intense and have unlimited coaching and Reiki all month long, it's going to be $1,000, which is a great price for those who want 8 coaching sessions plus a Reiki session or more each week.

Start with a $49 introductory session. I have these set up for two-hour blocks -- but always plan for a session to last at least an hour, maybe 90 minutes. I take my time and listen. I can't can the experience into just one hour.

If you've already done your introductory life coaching session at $49 and want another session, just one at a time as you go, my regular sessions are $100. I made it pay off for you to buy several and keep on working on yourself with coaching and Reiki!

See the new offerings below!

I'm not available this Saturday due to tons of graduations and Mother's Day stuff. Usually, I am available on Saturdays.

Career Changing & The Job Search: Will Any Job Do?

More now on my “any job will do” and “just get your butt out of the house” ethos for career changers.

career changing & the.jpg

I’ve seen what happens when a person doesn’t do this. It’s not pretty. When you don’t have something to do each day outside the house, you know, like a job? You’re at home on the couch eating a bag of chips. It’s life wasted because no matter what, you have something to give somewhere. You’re needed in this world. Sitting at home firing off resumes into a black hole and eating chips while overdosing on reality TV does no one any good. Not you, not anyone else.

Put a cap on the amount of time you’re allowed to sit and feel sorry for yourself. Then get out of the house.

Good God, do volunteer work if you have to!

Why?

Top 7 Reasons why you must get out of the house:

1. You can create a schedule and structure again
2. You can meet people. New people could invite you to things. Or you get some networking out of it.
3. It keeps you from isolating yourself.
4. You truly never know where any job leads.
5. You have to be a part of the outside world and rejoin society through rejoining the workforce.
6. Sometimes you get a retirement fund started off even a part-time job. I’ve done it!
7. New jobs mean new training, new training means new skills and more resume padding.

Of course, there are many more reasons depending on what career field you end up working within. Some have fringe benefits, like paid training and licensing. Some have awesome holiday parties and quarterly luncheons that make for great networking grounds. Part-time jobs with flexible hours help you keep money flowing in as you seek your next big gig. Part-time jobs have hooked me up with everything from free flu shots to concert tickets over the years — depending on the field.

Some jobs show you what you don’t want to do. It can be fun to try something new, but 30-90 days in, we should know whether it’s a good fit or not. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s OK to move on.

The aforementioned resume black hole is something we can contend with in the next edition of Lessons for Career Changers…

A meditation on how to make a habit…

As Lent winds down, I am coming to realize it’s easier to break a habit than make a habit.

It seems it was easier for me to quit smoking rather than add to my daily habit repertoire — on the surface. What really has happened is I found a sneaky way to change habits.

IMG_6284.JPG

Quoting smoking (again) was something I didn’t think would stick. I thought I’d fail in days. But here I am, still not smoking since 2/13/18. One week without it and I knew I deserved a reward. I purchased the lavender band with rose gold FitBit Charge 2, aka The Most Expensive One. I decided this was a good reward that would influence me to become more active, and so replacing my smoking with fitness.

That’s not what happened at all.

The most revealing thing for me about FitBit was my sleeping patterns.

This electronic tool has helped me revolutionize my sleeping habits this Lent — it aided a problem I wasn’t even aware of! I was getting around five hours of sleep a night. No wonder I was so tired. Now, I make sleep a priority, watch how this habit is going each morning, take a conscious moment to see how I feel on the amount of sleep I got — and then I move on. I’m conscious of it in the morning so all day I think about how I will spend my evening thinking, “There’s a sleep deficit today, I’m tired, my mood and motivation are blah, so I know I need to turn in early.” It’s become a wonderful way to take care of myself.

The fitness habit I added back in came in second…

Then my friend and coworker, Jeffrey, started giving me the business about my FitBit, being the Inspector of Heather’s Steps. He quickly purchased his own so we could compete. This led to us inviting another friend and coworker, Kim, through the FitBit app, to join us in daily challenges. So we often have a three-way challenge going. The trash talking and competition between us is super fun and motivating, even though technically we work in all different locations.

Yesterday, I had no problem hitting my current 8,000 step goal! I had three different facilities to work in for my clients! I was walking all over downtown! By early evening, when I hit the radio station to do the news (I’m also a broadcast journalist), I began trying to rack up some extra steps and floors. The station is big so I do laps often, which is entertaining for my coworkers there.

I’ve taken a look at the contrasting jobs I have. By day, I get more exercise by walking around downtown Wichita for my work. By night, I am more sedentary, but I make it a challenge to get up on the hour to do a lap or two around the station.

Habits take effort to start and stop.

What worked for me to quit smoking was to go with the flow instead of against it. If I had to “fight” to quit smoking, I wouldn’t have.

I used Lent and my spiritual practices to fuel my quitting — and thank G-d! I am so glad I’ve quit for so many reasons! What was revealed was worth the work — this is something I mention a lot to clients I coach on sobriety. When you quit an addictive substance or behavior, you won’t know where it will lead you.

Which makes the fear we feel in stopping a bad habit such a waste of energy.

There’s nothing to fear!

Took a week off!

LOA-2.jpg

Yes, we skipped #LOAMonday blog post No. 3.

I had strep. Antibiotics made me sick. I quit taking them over the weekend. I got strep AGAIN. I got a new antibiotic. I got well. The end.

I have attracted "the sick" into my life too often this winter! So like any decent life coach obsessed with personal development, I'm hard at work on this issue. I'm unpacking this gift one layer of tissue paper at a time.

Some gift boxes stink.

But they are still gifts to be unwrapped.

Being Grateful in the Hallway

Every light worker touts the magic of gratitude.

But how can you be grateful when life sucks?

I personally call this, “The hallway.” Being grateful in The Hallway is non-negotiable. There are light workers who love to tout gratitude as a value and way of life but who don’t take into account the shadow — or dark side. (We call those, “rookies” — new to the “high on life” way of living). We all must deal with the shadow side of ourselves and the shadow side of life. Life has peaks and valleys. Life has a balance.

They can’t all be good days.

What matters is how you handle the days that aren’t so happy and glorious. Problems occur. People die. Things we adore leave us or break down. Situations we depend on come to completion. We part ways with a partner. Basically, we go through a major life change. That’s when we find ourselves in The Hallway.

dazzle.jpg

What is The Hallway?

The Hallway is where we stand with one door closed behind us, usually ever-so-unwillingly, as we wait for that next door to open. We don’t know when that door is going to open. The handle doesn’t turn for us when we turn it; we don’t have the key. The only solution is to wait it out until conditions change. But it’s brutal. We want to jump out of our body in discomfort.

How do we find gratitude in that?

Conventional wisdom tells us, “Be grateful things aren’t worse, someone out there has it worse than you.” This isn’t my favorite cliche because I think it minimizes our suffering. We should accept and honor our suffering — then keep moving forward.

I like to teach being grateful for the basics above all else. This way we aren’t minimizing the fact that, yes, life sucks. But it only sucks at the moment. This is when you seek out things to be grateful for in abundance. We list the most basic things like food, water, shelter and space. Then we add on being grateful for more basic things in life like the sun coming out and having clean socks.

Does this fix things? Probably not. Taking action fixes things. If you feel stuck in that department, a good coach can help. You can schedule a session with me here.

This, however, can give us a better mindset. What we think we become. Our thoughts and beliefs dictate our actions and our actions create our life. So creating the ability to get out of The Hallway starts with good thinking. Gratitude contributes to that.

Gratitude also prevents us from becoming miserable cows.

Use gratitude as a coping skill. A one-minute mind shift. Of all the inventories we take in life, we can’t forget to take a gratitude inventory. If you need help with this principle, I’ve blogged some ideas for you here.

amazon Block
Search for an Amazon product to display. Learn more
amazon Block
Search for an Amazon product to display. Learn more
amazon Block
Search for an Amazon product to display. Learn more

9 Attitude Shifts You Can Adopt to Make 2018 Great

Have a phenomenal and fearless 2018. Experience big life shifts as you incorporate the attitude shifts below!

When in doubt, surrender it out!.jpg

1. Play big in the world.

In what ways can you up-level your life? How can you play bigger? What is keeping you playing small in certain areas of your life?

Dare to dream bigger. Put what feels “impossible” on your vision board right now. I put an $8,000,000 million dollar home on mine. Impossible? The question I ask myself is do I want to live a renter-for-life type of existence or do I think I can live in an $8,000,000-home kind of way? Is my life a piece of newsprint to color with crayons or a fabulous canvas with every color of oil paint in existence?

2. You deserve it!

Also, do I deserve the rental or the huge home? What do I deserve? The answer is, “I deserve it!” Whatever your “it” is, remember: you do deserve it. You have worth and value — so do your ideas. Who is to say we all don’t have an $8,000,000-idea within us? Or several? Look at Oprah.

2. Stop Freaking Out. Meditate.

Do we need to keep rolling excessive thoughts around in our head? It’s 2018 and we have so much available to us. Do we need to keep clinging to anxious thoughts, worry, hurt, and pain? Or can we take the courage to step forward into a new place of silence within ourselves — the place where the answers are?

Playing big in the world and knowing we deserve it means we deserve silence. We deserve to shut down our thoughts and step into the space within. Courage is about trusting ourselves and knowing the answers are there when we sit still for them to come.


3. Self-care is paramount!

If you’re new to the Destiny Architect life, let me initiate you. We DA’s take care of ourselves. We refuse to be dragged into others’ bullshit. We put ourselves first. We take care of ourselves. We eat right, rest, exercise, get haircuts, see doctors, have boundaries, and all those other delicious things that mean we are taking care of ourselves. We let go of fear. We create. We meditate. We let go. We do what it takes to take care of ourselves. Who is going to do it for us? What are we waiting for?

Radical self-care. Do it. Do it now!


4. Yes you can. Yes we can. Si se puede.

Did you just give a reason you can’t? No copouts. No excuses. Relentlessly follow your dreams. Even when we have a crappy day — don’t give up. Remember what you are doing to reach your goals and why. You can do it. Yes, you can.


5. Happiness and fulfillment are my choices, my priorities determine my choices & actions.

We can’t buy happiness. It’s pointless waiting for it. Make today great. You can. Yes, you can! It’s your choice to be happy and fulfilled. You do it by letting go of fear, living deliciously, creatively, and confidently.

Want to make it happen? Put it first. Make it a priority. Priorities lead to commitment, commitment leads to action, action leads to change and THINGS GETTING DONE!

Do happiness. Haven’t you finished with sorrow and being lame by now? (Yes, I am a very blunt life coach!)


6. When in doubt, surrender it out!

Don’t knock my 12-step ethos tim you try it. It saved my life — and the lives of millions. This spiritual idea can be found in Scripture and most spiritual teachings I’ve come across. It’s been repeated in every spiritual house of worship I’ve attended, every religion I’ve heard of, and it has to do with faith.

Surrender is a practice.

When your life is filled with fear and doubt — surrender it out.

Letting go is freedom.


7. I’m no slave, it’s OK to outsource things.

I’m planning to outsource as much as I can this year, one step at a time. The first thing getting outsourced is laundry. I simply do not have a goal in my life congruent with being a laundry master when I grow up. It’s a time suck. I can pay someone to do this.

We don’t even have to grocery shop anymore with the technology we have today.

If this stuff had been around in my mother’s day, you bet she’d be all over it! Let’s enjoy these magical times.


8. I will always remember my “why” and keep it top of mind.

WHY do you want it? Remember your WHY. Because when you’re tired as hell, mentally and emotionally spent on your hardest day this year, the thought of quitting will cross your mind. So keep that WHY posted in a place where you are reminded of it. Don’t give up. Keep your motivation close.


9. I am going new places this year

Oh, the places you’ll go! It’s more than just a children’s book. You really are going places — if you let yourself. Get out of your own way, lose the fear, do all of the above, and the travel will take care of itself. Fearless living means your ticket is bought, bags are packed, and wheels up!

I don’t mean this completely in the geographical sense. Imagine what will come your way if you surrender and improve your life! Imagine the invitations coming your way, the magical detours, the moments of creative fire, the “A-Ha!” moments, the love and laughter… So many new gifts and blessings are coming your way….

Happy 2018!

-Certified Life Coach, Heather Larson

Chain Breaker
Essential Records

The one secret to having an AMAZING 2018 — I challenge you to do it!

 The one secret to having an AMAZING 2018 is here!

The one secret to having an AMAZING 2018 is here!

And I triple dog dare you...

Want to know how to have an amazing 2018? A 2018 that is completely rewarding, unique, and original? Want to have a year completely different and challenging in comparison to years past?

Shift your focus in two ways:

1. Create instead of consume

2. Create by being of service to others


First of all, let’s ask the question, “What am I consuming?”

Here in America, where I live, we are consumers. Our capitalism model is built on consumption! What are you consuming? Media? Food? The current new and trendy thing (like Kylo Ren high-wasted pants pics on Insta?) Is more going out of your bank account than is coming in? How are you spending your time? Are you spending time consuming media? Netflix? Eating out at restaurants too much?

To put it another way, are you constantly filling a hole? Looking for intake while offering the world very little output?

Shift your focus to creation rather than consumption. I’m off balance when I am lazy. Downtime is great, but when too many nights are spent ordering takeout and watching Netflix, I need to get real. That’s when I need to get back to writing for my blog, creating life coaching classes or products for you, writing poetry, and doing my yoga practice.

We weren’t put here to be bottomless pits of consumption.

If all you do is live with your iPhone stuck to your hand, looking at Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, watching videos, and living life one text at a time  — you’re a bottomless pit. You're consuming messages and media constantly. You’re in a pattern of constantly seeking fulfillment. It’s a pattern that only gets worse. It’s a cycle. It feeds on itself. Before you know it, you’re just a taker. You’re putting nothing into the world. There’s nothing to quench this thirst.

Step away. Create.

What are you putting out into the world?

I want to hear your answer. What are you putting out into the world to change it and make it a better place? What are you putting out to be consumed, snatched up by the thirsty masses? Is it music? Writing? An idea? A business plan?

What can you put out there?

Here’s where we get to point number two — we create something worthy of consumption by being of service to others. How can I be of service? I offer coaching, Reiki, and blogs full of ideas on how to live a better life. The graphics on this blog are created by me. This is my art. This is how I can serve others with my expertise and creativity.

Rather than blindly spending weekends at the mall, my cousin and her husband came up with a way to recycle old clothing into new. (They are tailors). A friend of mine was so hooked on trail running he eventually came up with his own hammock business. I’m not saying you have to sew — I can’t sew a button on a pair of pants. Check out my friend Tracy's completely unique jewelry. (Not all my friends sew).

I can write, do voice acting, journalism, etc. I have talents. What are your talents and how can you share them in the world? It does us no good if you don’t share your gift with us — especially if you hide those gifts behind the consumption habits society tells us make us good capitalists, citizens…whatever.

Don't keep your talents to yourself. We are literally waiting for you.

Step one to an amazing 2018 is stop over-consuming, wasting time and resources. Don’t join the sheeple.

Step two is to look at how your talents can serve others and then share them. Put yourself out there. If your only goal in 2018 is to share your gifts in the name of serving others, I promise it will open doors. It will take you places where you get to meet the people you’re meant to meet. You will start waking up. You will feel electricity in your veins.

Now stop consuming this blog and get to work!