Enter the Mid-Week Reset

This self-care weekend, it’s time to have a scary good time! Just don’t forget self-care!

This past week, I made a conscious effort for self-care Wednesday night. I need a mid-week reset. I did a facial, went to bed early, and read a favorite book. A friend also came over and we spent the last, warm early evening chatting on my patio. Reading novels relaxes me and my novels right now are all vampire ones! I’m reading Charlaine Harris’ Dead After Dark and also have Dracula on my list. As far as audio books right now, there’s nothing scarier to me than the deep darkness of The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m not big on movies with violence so I’m not a horror fan, but I’ll read Halloween-themed books like crazy!

Spending time with friends is also part of what I consider self-care. Keeping up with my friends and their lives is important to me. Getting some time to kick back and chat is one of my favorite things to do. As long as I have a living room and patio, the chats can happen!

For self-care this weekend, I attended my usual Reiki share.

I feel like I also need to fine tune my morning routine. The morning routine is so important to me and I have been skimping on it, waking up just in time to get ready and out the door. That’s going to be a weekend goal. (I”ll write a separate blog post on just that topic).

Whatever you do for self-care, remember it’s about taking time for you. It’s about not doing for anyone else. It’s time to do what you love. It’s the space you take to give yourself what you need.

So what do you need?

Self-care leads to better self-knowledge. Become aware of your wants and needs. Make sure you are meeting your needs. Make sure you aren’t working too hard to meet others’ needs — unless you take care of children, elderly, or those medically unable to care for themselves. If you’re a caretaker of someone who requires your help to live, then you need self-care more than most.

I work in a care-taking field. This makes self-care a top priority each day. In addition to time with friends this week, I also had a therapy session I call a “grief tuneup” as this is a time of year for me that can be difficult. I knew I needed it.

Sometimes I need a walk. Sometimes I need a green juice. Sometimes I need a pie with ice cream. Sometimes I need a nap.

What do you need today?

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Welcome to Self-Care Saturday/Sunday!

I've been so busy with self-care, I am posting this is the weekend ends...

Let’s do a fall-themed edition for this weekend. This came to mind after I couldn’t resist buying a fancy, pre-made candy apple at the grocery store the other day. It’s adorable. It’s caramel and chocolate decorated with orange frosting. I love all aforementioned ingredients. Plus, it’s a treat.

The point of self-care is treating yourself!

So, how can you treat yourself today?

Candy apples remind me of happy childhood memories from when I was really small. We’re talking elementary school here! There had been a tragic wreck one Halloween night in which a child was struck and killed.

(I may be dating myself here, we all know costumes are safer and more reflective now).

To avoid further tragedies, the community decided to hold a Halloween carnival as an alternative to trick-or-treating. Think of today’s trunk-or-treats on steroids — we built an annual carnival on our elementary school grounds. It was better than any traveling carnival — as I remember it anyway. I always bobbed for apples and got caramel apples.

Can you treat yourself to something that brings back great childhood memories?

A favorite food? What brings back a flow of positive memories and joy into your life?

How I spent the third weekend of October...

It was a big, huge week. I returned to broadcasting this week as I joined the news staff of KFDI. This filled my week and my house is a wreck. I either need a maid or free time. I think we all know the maid is coming first! HA!

In my head all week, I wanted to use my Sunday to un-wreck the house. But then today came along...

I chose to worship my Audible and Netflix accounts with mac n' cheese. Sometimes that is the best self-care! Who doesn't need a "do nothing" day? I sure did. It was the call of my soul. When I wasn't at the radio station last week, I was taking my cat to the vet. (She's fine now).

I also tried to purchase another caramel apple at the grocery store. They were all gone!

I'm glad I bought that treat when I did.

Have a great week!

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Happy Self-Care Saturday & Sunday!

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Ah, weekends!

The time for self-care. For me today, that means solitude! I have enjoyed today being lazy, having tea and soup, and watching Netflix.

In my weeks, I am talking to people all the time. When asking myself all day what I needed for my Self-Care Saturday today, it could only be one thing -- solitude. Quiet. Peace. Lack of doing. No phone, no interruptions.

What do you need for self-care this weekend?

I went into today thinking of my to-do list. I have a big week coming up and I want everything set up right. But that's not important today. My body wanted to nap. I spent some time with my kitty. She's finally feeling better after a rough week! This makes me so grateful! I played some video games. I tuned out. It was a day of downtime. The only people I talked to in person were my neighbors.

I'm a huge extrovert. To balance that, I need my downtime. This solitude time. It's just me having my own private time without a schedule. This lets me recharge my battery so I can get back to it tomorrow. Whenever I take a day like this, fresh energy follows the next day!

What about you?

Self-Care Saturday!

Let's get beyond scratching the surface of self-care now...

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I've been doing self-care Saturday for a minute now.

My daughter is visiting this weekend and I am proud to say she has no problem taking her own time to do what she needs in the way she needs to do it. She took off today to get her nails done, coming home later with fingers and toes all fixedup. She said she'd only meant to get her nails done but ended up getting her toes done too. To which I say, "Bravo, kid!"

Self-care means you take the time for yourself to do what you need/want to do

Even when you're staying at your mom's house for the weekend. She has a friend here she sees. She has no problem taking the time to have this friendship -- she's new to Kansas and those initial friendships when you move somewhere new are so important. It's the difference between feeling good about where you've planted yourself and feeling completely alone and isolated.

The opposite of self-care hurts society

This is a heavy topic to wade into and I feel it's important to bring up. I read a stellar blog about men and loneliness today here. The writer explores how society conditions men to be lonely and how that leads to violence. He suspects the Vegas shooter didn't play enough growing up and supports his theory with stats on serial killers who didn't play as children. He makes a scientific case for how play is so important for many reasons. 

Self-care isn't just about taking that long, hot bath

Self-care is also more than just a special thing you do on Saturdays. Self-care is a choice you make from moment to moment. Self-care is in your priorities.

Self-care means you have to always make yourself the priority!

Maybe that means more play in life. Maybe that means more hobbies. Maybe it just means saying "no" and meaning it. Maybe it means practicing better boundaries. Maybe it means quitting smoking and eating better.

What does self-care mean to you?

 

Self-Care is So Important!

So I am kicking off my own self-care weekend right now!

Why is self-care so important? I can list off a ton of reasons, some of them cliche:

  • Can’t pour from an empty well (cliche and yet ever-so-true)
  • We need to engage in self-care to set an example for our kids
  • Fights burnout, stress, and poor health
  • Improves self-esteem
  • You deserve it
  • It’s the antidote to codependency
  • Do you take care of someone else? Then you NEED self-care!
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How did we get to this place in society where self-care comes last?

Somewhere in the course of history, self-care took a backseat and we all cosigned on this.

As women became breadwinners as well as equal stakeholders in society (in my grandmother and mother’s generations) they didn’t take any duties off their plates. My grandmother worked at Motorola and gave up few house duties to my grandfather, who loved to mop floors. She cooked for all of us, held huge family dinners, and looked after all her grandchildren.

My mother set aside finishing college to go after her M-R-S degree, support my father in his business, and ultimately to raise me. She never finished college but supported my father in finishing his degree. By then, I was a teenager on my own way to college and she soon moved closer to her parents to take care of them.

Both of these women wore their caretaking as a badge of honor as they put themselves last. Both of these women are no longer with us, plagued by stress and poor health until their final days of degenerative brain diseases -- my grandmother succumbed to Alzheimer’s; my mother fell to CJD.

Personal Development Opportunities Lost

My mother watched countless cooking and travel shows, never once taking that trip or preparing that new recipe. My grandmother had no friends or social life outside our family. Her only hobby was hitting garage sales or flea markets. Needless to say, my mother followed in her mother’s footsteps with her lack of social life and hobbies. The last time I saw my mother have a hobby, it was the late 70s/early 80s when she did “tole painting.” (My mother was an excellent oil painter and I have her leaves tattooed on my arm).

Grandma had no self-care. None. My mother spent her evenings watching TV, reading magazines, and keeping her nails immaculate. Her only splurge in life was a regular haircut and color. No bottle jobs for my mother!

I am convinced both of these women could have benefited from mental and physical health services. They could have benefited from personal relationships outside of marriage and family. Each could have benefited from Al-Anon meetings, which I will mention because September is Recovery Month. Neither of them had a spiritual base like a church or a practice of prayer and meditation. Aside from personal grooming, there was no true uninterrupted “me time” for the women who came before me that I would consider “self-care.”

So let’s discuss then what true “Self-Care” really is!

Self-care is putting yourself first. Self-care is making your own needs a priority. I don’t know how we got into this way of life in which, “I’m so busy,” is such a prized statement. Busy is a drug. We use drugs to bury things and/or escape reality. We avoid self-care as an act of avoiding the self in the same way.

Let’s start a self-care revolution.

Let’s promise here and now to take care of ourselves first. This post is primarily aimed at women because I know mostly women who avoid self-care. My male friends seem to have no problems keeping hobbies, relationships, getting haircuts regularly --and most importantly-- saying no.

Self-care is saying no.

Self-care means saying no firmly and realizing the word “no” is a complete sentence. Guess what? Say “no” more often and you free up your time. What do you use that time for? Self-care! Boom! You set a boundary when you say “no” and then you stick to it. You don’t waver. You don’t take it back. You keep your “no” solid. It’s a wall. It’s a message that says, “my time is not for free and I am not on sale.”

Now that you have time for self-care...what to do?

Do you have female friends outside your marriage, family, and job? If that area is lacking, start there. Are you a caretaker for an elderly family member and/or small children? Then you require self-care time. You need quiet time with yourself. Recover your sense of self.

Opening the gates on a self-care weekend

This is my self-care weekend! I have counted the days and hours to it. I recently switched jobs within the company I work for, attended trainings two weekends in a row out of town, and worked overtime for our annual fundraiser. My previous job never, ever went beyond 40 hours a week. To say my routine has been blown out of the water is an understatement as I also had taken on some freelance work in the middle of this. Then my daughter made a surprise visit for 5 days! Whoa! The last month flew by.

Time to pump the brakes!

This weekend is my first weekend I get two days of straight me time! This weekend I have no work, no training, no overtime, no freelance work, and no kid! Self-care means I will indulge in sleep, but not too much. I’ve made plans for my own self-care and private time. I went home last night exhausted and decided to start self-care weekend early with Netflix and takeout. (My take the “Netflix and Chill”). Saturday, someone will do Reiki on ME for a change! Then I am getting the haircut and style I’ve been too busy to get.

Remember when I said, “Busy is a drug?” Being too busy to get a haircut is just plain wrong. It’s like cheating on myself. So that’s over. We all slip sometimes, but we have to reboot and reset! Sunday, I am attending a Reiki share I haven’t been to in ages due to my former work schedule. I had attended so regularly before! I also plan to read and relax. I plan to immerse myself in my study of “A Course in Miracles” and other spiritual texts. I also plan on yoga in my living room! I cannot wait because I know this effort is important to feed my soul this weekend. This is my idea of self-care. This is what works for me.

Do you need ideas on how to create more self-care in your own life? Not sure where to start? I can help; I’m a coach!

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