How to live your life while grieving

Life can change in an instant.

Often, it’s the only way we change. Suddenly. Without warning. Life knows we are sluggish to change.

But this is also the way things work in this Universe. It’s best to let go because it’s all out of our human control.

I woke up Friday morning to a very sick cat. As I was about to walk out the door at 7:40 a.m., I realized something was very wrong with him as I saw him struggling to urinate. I rushed him to the vet — ending up at the walk-in vet as FOUR vet offices were booked solid for the day. The walk-in vet treated and released my sweet baby Rupert. He had a bladder infection but I was cautioned to keep vigilant as he could become blocked at any time. The vet taught me how to check for a blockage with a simple exam. With a medicated cat and armload of Hill’s c/d food, we headed home.

The next morning, Rupert was fine when I woke up. Just about two hours later, we were at the emergency vet, which I drove to in a thunderstorm. Ever take a cat to the vet in a thunderstorm? Not fun at all, especially not in the acute panic state I was in. I had felt a blockage in my cat. His bladder was full and hard. He was visibly blocked as well.

I made a tough decision.

I vow that no animal of mine will suffer and so I made the decision, based on what the emergency vet told me, to end Rupert’s suffering. She was not confident we could save him if she tried and he’d be in pain for days. He would suffer and possibly still not make it. Plus, this could happen again. This is what happens with neutered males and their anatomy. But you can’t not neuter! (Prior to his neutering, Rupert had serious behavioral issues which were fixed immediately upon surgery).

The life of an animal lover is hard because our furry friends don’t live forever.

Rupert was the best friend we could have had. We loved and appreciated him so much in his two short years. I am thankful for the gift I was given. After my cat of 11 years, Alcatraz, passed away in February 2017 passed away — also suddenly — my friend’s cat became pregnant. “Roo” came from that litter. I’ll spare you endless stories of how special he was.

I still have an elderly female cat we refer to as HRH Meeko, a.k.a “The Queen” or “The Boss.” She is heartbroken, naturally. I am awake checking the weather as it will be a storm chasing night with threat of a tornado outbreak here in the Midwest. How can I sleep at a time like this? HRH was asleep though — having a nightmare as evidenced by the noises she was making in her sleep. My sweet baby girl…

I am worn out on all levels. I am grieving. I wish I understood why the loss of a pet is so deep and painful. I’ve sobbed over losing pets much worse than I have for humans in my life. I’ve had many losses; I am used to death. But the soul and bone-shaking sobs I experience now (and with previous pet losses) are like no other grief. Maybe it’s because animals can’t talk. Maybe it’s because the bond we have with them is so unique and special.

But life does go on.

I still have goals and things I want to be doing other than this grief crap. It’s really inconvenient. I am still committed to self-mastery and enhancing my skills daily. I am still committed to my vlog-a-day challenge but now you know why I haven’t vlogged. If you saw the few Instagram stories I did post yesterday, you already know I’m just too sad for the vlog. It’s LOA Monday here and I just kinda sorta came up with a blog post then blew it off to write this one.

I’m therefore not going to go against the flow of things. It’s going to be a big self-care week. I am trying to rest but feeling restless. I’m eating well and taking my supplements in order to care for my physically exhausted body. I cried five hours straight on Saturday. My eyes, sinuses, and headache will have to heal. But if you’ve ever lived in Tornado Alley, you know my headache won’t go away until the storms do. We are on track for a possible outbreak of tornadoes here in Wichita today. I work for the severe weather radio station here. It’s going to be a long day. (At the time of this writing it is 3:00 a.m.)

I’ll keep my haircut appointment and continue eating right. That’s about all I know for now as far as self-care plans. Life cannot stop for grief and I wish I’d known that when I was younger and suffering much bigger losses in my life. I still worked Saturday night as we had a risk of severe weather in our area. But my team is awesome and totally supported me in that choice. I only work with awesome people!

I’ve worked really hard in the month of May and I don’t want to lose that momentum. But I may be a little quiet this week. I may or may not vlog. I may or may not contribute content to Destiny Architecture and hop on the Patreon… I may listen to sappy 1980s power ballads. I don’t know.

But I wanted to blog about what’s going on. I see a lot of people post a blog…then go silent for three months. I just want you to know I’m here. I’m engaged. I may be scarce for a moment. Between feeling my feelings and covering severe weather, it could be quiet around here today. YOU, my community, are still top of mind. If you want to book out next week or beyond, that’s fine. I don’t plan on being too present to coach others while I feel depleted myself. (Though I still have previous commitments I’m keeping this week).

Thank you for your love and support!

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Now offering an 8-session life coaching package with a pay-as-you-go option

To better serve my clients, I keep coming up with all kinds of stuff…

How about a package of 8 life coaching sessions? Here you go! It is now live. This will allow you to sign up for a low price and spread out payments over an 8-week period while you are receiving 1-2 coaching sessions per week. Use them all up in a month or spread them out! Buying the package of 8 coaching sessions will help you really commit to doing the work. Then when I give you homework between sessions (as I often do), you will be much more invested in the overall process.

You can pay upfront too, which will save $50.

Please allow 90 minutes to two hours for each session — especially the first session as I’ll be getting to know you. If you have any questions, please let me know! Either ask in the comments or email me at destinyarchitecture@gmail.com.

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New sale for May: 5 coaching sessions for $50 off

For the month of May, you can purchase five life coaching sessions for just $400 — that’s $50 off!

Also, that gives you a chance to have a session a week all month! (If you want). Or spread them out all summer.

I can coach you on life changes, career changes, creativity, and getting unstuck in life in general!

What do you want to change? What does your ideal life look like? What do you want less of? I’d love to get to know you and begin asking questions to help bring you clarity!

5 Life Coaching Sessions $450
400.00 450.00

You are ready to take the leap forward and schedule 5 transformational life coaching sessions into your life! You want and demand more of this life you're living. You want more peace, balance, and happiness in your life!


Each transformational life coaching session will include an affirmation we create for you together, plus a graphic of it I will make and send to you so you can use it as a screensaver on your phone as a reminder. We can work on goal setting + an action plan; seeking balance; or whatever you want to work on!


I will follow up with you after each session as we decide, whether by email, text, and/or phone.

How to book:

Purchase here on this site and fill out the required fields (name/phone/email/) and tell me in the blank space what your preferred time is to have a session.

You can also reach me at destinyarchitecture@gmail.com

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Distance Reiki sale extended at $18 off!

I decided to extend my sale on distance Reiki into the month of May.

I have not done enough Reiki on people lately!

Also…I lost the past week due to a dead tooth and subsequent oral surgery. (Though I did manage to pick up 3 CEUs while my whole face was still numb! Why? Because why not?)

In the comments, please let me know any questions you have about Reiki!

Distance Reiki Session
70.00 88.00

Reiki is a traditional Japanese healing technique. It’s hands-on healing but it can also be done over any distance and timeframe. I do distance Reiki sessions by phone or online chat. Reiki transcends time & space, so you can reap the benefits either in person or over the distance! After years of doing only in-person sessions, I’m called now to do distance Reiki so I can reach more people with this beautiful, relaxing energy!

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Some personal reflections for spring so far on health & wellness

I've been somewhat quiet online lately. This is what healers do... We step away, go within, and...well, heal.

Things are running a little late in my Patreon community this month -- which is OK since I (at the time of this writing) have zero Patrons joining in. Good news is, it's only my second month on Patreon. So if you join today, you'll get last month's stuff plus all the stuff I am about to post!

I'm healing my body.

This body of mine has been doing some strange things and I'm not totally sure why except for the obvious like age, hormones, diet, and rest...all of which are a bit erratic.

I've said forever I could do health and wellness without a gym. I stand by that. I didn't join a "gym." I joined a bizarre and different new "studio," shall we say. It's called Hotworx here in Wichita and you do short workouts inside an infrared sauna.

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Hotworx

I am admitting this sounded absolutely psychotic when I first heard of it online. (I believe I first saw them on Facebook). Work out in the heat?

I hated Bikram yoga. HATED it. So at first, I figured this was like that. But it's not! I am glad I tried it. The infrared heat makes exercise easier and this is what I feel I need. My knee is making noise now, I feel terribly inflexible and sedentary...

But I am busy! So I can go to Hotworx and do a 15-minute row in the infrared sauna and it burns around 700 calories. The whole process of getting ready to go work out, driving there, doing the damn thing, and driving home takes me an hour. It's good for time management. I am told Infrared heat is healing...

A word about using the word "calories."

I am NOT a fitness coach or instructor. I'm a life coach and a Reiki Master. I give a sh*t about counting calories. I wouldn't mind losing weight, but it's not my main focus. I want more energy, strength, and flexibility. Plus, I want to feel better. I want to move. I don't vibe with "gym" culture, diet culture, and all that triggering crapola.

I am here for accepting myself as I am and improving my health. I did take my measurements on my second day at Hotworkx so I can measure over time how my body changes -- if it changes. I like metrics and being able to measure what happens here. My blood pressure yesterday was 115/68, so I think I'm doing OK! (It was higher a year ago, MUCH higher).

So I am researching more into this. I am NOT a doctor or medical professional and this blog/website is not meant to diagnose or treat any disease.

Falling down the rabbit hole of health research

This new workout had me looking into infrared heat and saunas, then red light therapy...then I find Ari Whitten's writings and get his Kindle book, Red Light Therapy... Then I listen to his podcast with Dr. Trevor Cates...

Here is where I snapped awake!

She brought up a condition I've suffered with for years. NO doctor has been able to help. (I had Dr. Rodan as my dermatologist in my teen years in Fremont, California so you direct sales people back OFF; I have actually met her; I still have acne). Dr. Cates, “The Spa Dr.,” mentions that keratosis pilaris can be (again, this site isn't meant for curing or diagnosing anything) caused by a zinc deficiency! What?! NO ONE ever mentioned this to me before!

So fast forward to now...I am overhauling my diet, reading her book, and dosing up on supplements (again, I don't diagnose or treat anything, y'all, I'm a Reiki Master listening to the guidance of my higher self here). I've got zinc, vitamin A, essential fatty acids, probiotics, and vitamin D. Some of these I already had. But I had to really research and search online for a good zinc supplement. This is the one I selected.

In the process, I saw someone mention in a forum that an IUD can deplete the body of zinc...and I haven't found confirmation on that yet. I have an IUD but it's not made of copper, so I am wondering if that comment was only about copper IUDs? Does anyone know? Let me know in the comments if you do, or use the contact form if you want to be more private.

Switching to all-natural beauty and personal care products

I also found a cool, natural brand with great reviews, called Tree of Life Beauty on Amazon. I've ordered their retinol serum to try and get a handle on this acne. Now I am reading more of Dr. Cates' book and looking into organic skincare products with a pH of 5.5...

So here's a great example of congruency that I talk about often as a coach. Using myself as an example...

How in the hell can I join an exercise studio where I am working on healing through infrared heat and eliminating toxins...and still have a makeup bag, shower, bathroom, and a household full of chemicals?

I can't replace all the crapola overnight. But I am going to work on getting rid of all the harmful chemicals from my life. I'm a tad inspired by all the minimalism videos I've been watching on YouTube lately (more on that for another blog post).

I've touched on this very briefly on my Instagram feed too recently. I decided to work on cutting back on indoor air pollution as I discovered while traveling to Arizona in December that I need to wear a pollution mask to protect myself from PM2.5. I got rid of all my incense and candles for a TRULY smoke-free home. I purchased a sage spray, so I am no longer burning sage to cleanse the energy around me. (I love my spray! I featured it on Instagram).

View this post on Instagram

So here is the stuff! It’s made by @heritagestorenatural and it’s a sage spray. ⠀ ⠀ This is for those of us who don’t do fire. Or for whom the smell of sage is just too strong for. I actually love the smell of burning sage. I love the ritual. I’ve never been in a spiritual circle where we didn’t burn sage — especially in the Reiki community. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ The other day, my neighbor’s place burnt down. I mean dead ass burned down. I have trauma around fire 🔥 as I lost my cousin in a fire when I was 11. I’ve come to accept that I am still healing this wound — and that is ok. I keep finding myself and/around/affected by fires! Even as a reporter. If I see smoke, I drive the news vehicle toward it, not away. My soul needs the healing. ⠀ ⠀ But in my home, no fire. Also, sage smells like weed 🤣 I haven’t done drugs in 17 years. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I also have respiratory trouble when there is high ozone and/or high particulate matter. I’ve begrudgingly been working slowly on indoor air pollution as well as wearing a mask on high pollution days. I got super sick in Arizona at Christmas, so I’m finally learning my lesson. ⠀ ⠀ The burning of things inside my home had to stop. For all of the above reasons. So I’m happy to use this sage spray! I used it on the recovery center, the radio station, and my home. I use it before I sit down to write and create coaching/Reiki content for you! ⠀ Much love & blessings!

A post shared by Heather Larson | Life Coach (@heatherlarson) on

This is where I am at now. Heading towards some kind of chemical-free health minimalism that I have yet to deeply define.

I will continue blogging about this journey for you! Maybe it will help someone else. KP sufferers unite & power to the people...not the overly-famous dermatologists...haha.

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In full disclosure -- this is NOT a paid blog post. I am blogging about my own experiences and spending my own money. I am not medically-trained, not a doctor or physician, and this blog/website and my social media accounts are not meant to diagnose or treat any disease.

I used my own money to purchase products mentioned above. Those products have affiliate links so I can earn if you follow/purchase from those links. I purchased all but the Sage Aura Spray from Amazon; that I purchased locally from Sprouts grocery store.

If you like my work, you can support it by making a purchase in the Destiny Architecture store, sharing this blog with others, booking a life coaching and/or Reiki session, joining my Patreon, or making an in-kind donation to my excessive dental care and personal care through Square at: $coachheather.

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How to reprogram your subconcious mind 

How to reprogram your subconcious mind with this new, downloadable PDF worksheet

Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind Downloadable PDF Worksheet
8.88

This downloadable PDF worksheet will help you along your personal development journey by helping you become conscious of negative thinking patterns that are holding you back. Then it will help you change them into positive ones.

There are six questions in this worksheet for you. I’ve also written a blog to help you with this idea.

Once purchased, you will receive a link to download the PDF. That link will be active for 24 hours.

I recommend downloading it and printing it out so you can write on it. Or, you can save paper (and trees) by keeping it on your computer or tablet. Then you can write in a journal on it, or journal by computer. I personally like to journal on my computer because I can write faster by keyboard.

Half of this worksheet will be recognizing your negative subconscious thinking patterns. The other half will be creating new patterns that are more beneficial to what you want to create in your life.

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Thank you for joining me on this path of healing work. You’re going to do great. There are many “a-ha moments” ahead of you! Let’s get to work. 

Ask yourself, “What pre-programmed subconscious messages do I deal with?”

Let’s get into a niche here because to mine the negative subconscious messages from the entire mind is a tad overwhelming. 

Which niche would you like to work on? 

  • Money/finances 

  • Health/beauty/body image/exercise 

  • Creativity 

  • Career and/or job search/job changing 

  • Personal life 

Remember, this healing work is endless and you can always come back to this tool to work on different areas at different times. 

Let’s use trust as an example. 

I catch my subconscious being weird abut trust all the time, but this doesn’t mean that in these fleeting moments I am doing anything about it. I am merely becoming conscious of the fact that I catch glimpses of my lack of trust. What is it I don’t trust? I start asking the questions so the work can begin. 

How does this message hold me back? 

I know from life experience that taking a leap of faith works for me. I am a risk taker by nature. Perhaps that’s why I don’t trust well…sometimes I take a leap of faith that is well-planned out. Those are the ones that work. Impulsive leaps, however, do NOT work! I think those few unplanned leaps and subsequent failures embedded in me a lack of trust tied into a feeling of failure. There were also many personal relationships with friends, family, and love interests which also fed my lack of trust. 

But let’s dig a little deeper, using myself as an example. 


What is behind that lack of trust? 

Fear. 

What am I afraid of? 

That’s a good question! Is it failure I am scared of? No. It’s more the fear of putting myself out there. There’s a fear of vulnerability. I can own my failures, mistakes, and the embarrassment from them. But at least I am doing something. Some people never do anything. They let the fear paralyze them. I am afraid often of being seen and feeling vulnerable. 

I’ll leave out all the “psych 101” reasons why as I’m a life coach and I’m not interested in the past. A good coach moves forward, not back. (To deal with past issues, early childhood memories, and family of origin issues, please see a qualified therapist). 

So we’ve decided I will work on my personal life and general fear for the purpose of this example.

What is the opposite of fear? Love!

Let’s find a way for me to attract more love into my life! If love is the opposite of fear (and it is) then I want to attract things like courage and trust into my life. 

This is where the affirmations come in. 

  • “I love and trust life!” 

  • “I trust the Universe if always working in my favor.” 

  • “I trust in life, I am trustworthy and operate with integrity so I attract people who are trustworthy to me.” 

  • “I am worthy of trust and only attract trustworthy people into my life.” 

Play with these affirmations and tailor them to your own life. 

So now we know I have some pre-programmed messages about lack of trust embedded in my subconscious. Perhaps that came from my parents always saying things like, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” We also know these pre-programmed messages caused me harm as they hold me back from being able to be vulnerable to others. 

Therefore, we begin to turn it around by asking: 

What do I want to attract into my life? 

Then we tailor affirmations for what we DO want in our life. Because, remember: 

What you focus on expands! 

If you want less of it, DO NOT concentrate on it! 

There are three more questions to engage you on this path in this worksheet. 

Often I find when I am doing this work, I start with six questions and end up asking myself 30. The questions beget more questions. The more armor you take off, the more you can ask yourself and the more you can free up! 


A word about these downloadable PDF worksheets by Destiny Architecture

I design these worksheets for you to use by printing them out. You can then write on them or write in a journal to answer questions. Of course, you can save paper by downloading the worksheet to your device and then journaling on a laptop. Whatever you prefer! 

I also design these worksheets for self-study. But I am here for coaching sessions if something comes up that you’d like to work on further. 

You can also join the Patreon community for support from the group! One of these worksheets will come with the $10 membership tier each month. 

Also, please take your time when working on these. They are for YOU! They are for your personal growth and development. Tie them into your yoga, meditation, or writing practice. Diffuse some essential oil, put on some music, cut out distractions, and use these in your self-care time. You’ll be glad you did. 

Announcing: The Destiny Architecture Coaching & Reiki Community is now on Patreon

What!?!!? I can snag me some life coaching and Reiki with Destiny Architecture on Patreon? SCORE!

I know, not my usual headline but after a week of allergy hell (normal life in the Midwest) I am feeling 75% more human today! So let’s just have some fun with this!

I am creating a life coaching and Reiki community on Patreon here.

It’s a brand-new community I am birthing this spring. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time and Patreon gives me a great plug-and-play type of way to do this. (Patreon is a membership community led by creators. So you help me make money and meet goals in return for amazing content).

I’ve posted on the Patreon page about what the community is about and I’ve also uploaded an exclusive, Patrons-only life coaching worksheet for the $10/mo+ tiers. It’s about how you can reprogram your subconscious mind, which is so revealing. But at the same time, it will help you create a better way for yourself. Yes, we have some subconscious program we want to let go of — but we also have to program in the new!

I’ll be posting a worksheet once a month like this for Patrons. You’ll also be able to get a podcast, coaching, access to a mastermind, and more.

The worksheet is up, the “what this is all about” post is up, and some other “for everybody” content you can read.

If you’ve been a fan of this blog, you’re going to love it.

Yes, you can join for free!

The benefits kick in at the $3/mo tier. It goes all the way up to the $250/mo mastermind level. I have a post on there about this, but it isn’t just about the money commitment to the community. It’s also about what time you have to give to the community — and more importantly — to your own personal growth.

Above all, it’s about your energy!

Bring your energy to the community. Participate. Consume some, give back some. How much energy do you have for personal development right now? Pick that tier. Do that.

I chose Patreon because the site is full of amazing creators. I’ve been a Patron of others there for one year now and it has changed my life! I’ve been a patron of some anti-racism educators and social justice activists in the past year. Where else can you find people creating such amazing content for affordable monthly prices?

Of course, I am adding in a ton of premium content. I want there to be something for everyone while —at the same time— keeping the mastermind people in their own Slack group. I don’t want you to join that (even if that’s affordable to you) if you don’t have the energy to bring. Being in the mastermind will require work on your part. There will be reading and giving knowledge to others.

So check it out. More to come!

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New!

Online Coaching & Reiki community with several subscription tiers available!

#LOAMonday No. 9: You don’t need a reason to succeed, but if you insist…  

Here’s the thing: you don’t need a reason to succeed. You don’t need a reason to be OK with attracting all your wildest dreams and prosperity. 

You don’t have to be anything. You don’t have to do anything first. You don’t have to look a certain way. You don’t have to be someone’s expectation. 

You don’t need all that. To get into the Law of Attraction, you simply have to believe you deserve it. You don’t have to be perfect. Conditions don’t have to optimal first. 

But I will give you a reason anyway.

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We need you…

To be you!

Do you want to know what that reason is as to why you can just be alright with attracting ALL the abundance through the Law of Attraction? 

We need you to be OK with it because we need your gifts. It’s not about you. It’s about the world. The world needs your gifts. The world needs you to contribute and will reward you handsomely. 

We have been waiting for you to make the thing. We have been waiting for you to bring your voice. We want the sunlight to shine on your purpose. We want you to win, crush it — whatever you want to call it. 

Change the world with your purpose. People will pay for it. People will buy your thing because they appreciate the problem it solves for them. 

It’s time to share your brilliance with the world. We need it. We need you to get off your ass and share your greatness. The rewards will come… 

How to Break Free of Negative Emotions

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Get positive

Our next digital download will help you break free of negative feelings.

Introducing our next digital download: How to Break Free of Negative Emotions

The other day I posted “How to Get Out of a Rut,” now here’s the follow-up. It’s a 10-page workbook on how to break free from any negative emotions holding you back so you can create a more positive experience.

Both downloadable PDFs are affordable and easy to do on your own. If you feel you want more guidance from a certified transformational life coach, let me know and we can book a session. You can hook up with me while you are working on these for help, or after you work on them to achieve more clarity.

I have wonderful clients who love personal development! I have been wanting to find new ways to get you involved in the self-help universe in between sessions — or before your first session. I want to be able to provide you with as much coaching & lifestyle help as I can in ways that work for you.

If you have any ideas on what I can do to make the coaching experience better for you, feel free to comment below!

I believe it’s the time of year to let go of all the old gunk. It’s time to clean out body, mind, soul, home, closet, car, office, etc.

How to make a new start in 2019 if we don’t clean up the 2018 mess first? Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Create the space first and the new things will come.

I have big plans in my life and also in my coaching. We are soon going to move out of this space of dealing with ruts and negative emotions and into a more positive, progressive space.

It’s time in December to rest, relax, and recharge. It’s also time to do vision boards and plan for the new year. I cannot wait until my new planner is delivered on Tuesday! More on that later.

You can purchase this latest digital download below.

Breaking Free of Negative Emotions Workbook
8.88

Get into your negative emotions so you can break free of them. This 10-page workbook will ask you questions. It will also provide you with an awareness exercise for your journal and a meditation.

Put yourself on the path to more positivity. STOP letting your negative emotions and experiences run your life!

Feelings aren’t facts. Emotions aren’t our boss. So stop letting negative emotions run your show!

Introducing Digital Downloads in the Store!

The first download: “How to Get Out of a Rut” downloadable self-help PDF!

As we head into the holidays, my mind is already set on next year. I am already planning out my 2019 goals as 2018 comes to a close. I am looking ahead to what I want to accomplish next year. I am working on my vision board, Reiki box, intentions, meditations, and affirmations. I am preparing for what is, to me, one of the most sacred days of the year — New Year’s Day. That’s the day I set my intentions for the year in quiet meditation and hold space for them. It’s a quiet day. I begin it in a healthy manner. No hangover here — I’ve been sober since 2013.

Best of all, I am excited by all this! I am ecstatic to work on what’s next in my life. I am excited to work to propel myself to the next level. I love this process and look forward to it. I’ve already begun my end of the year cleaning and re-organizing. I throw things out daily. I am changing the look of my home, re-arranging the stuff on the walls, replacing old things, taking inventory of what I do have.

If you aren’t doing this, it’s ok. But as your life coach, I’m here to give you a gentle nudge.

The year is almost over. We’ve already begun to be swept up in the holiday season. Many of us will travel for the holidays — hell, many of us are still trying to get home after that nasty blizzard we had here Sunday in Kansas, where I live.

It’s time to start taking stock. Here’s a downloadable PDF on How to Get Out of a Rut you can purchase in the Destiny Architecture store here (or below).

This PDF asks nine powerful questions to get you to think, feel, and take stock. It will help get you back in touch with your own inner guidance to lead yourself back to truth. This is what a good coach does! I’m happy to give you the tools.

I am going to start uploading more tools like this you can download and use on your own. Let them help you. This one will help you find directions and get to know yourself a little better.

Achieving alchemy: Transforming the negative into a positive

Alchemy definition: 


A power or process that changes or transforms something in a mysterious or impressive way

The key to my life coaching is empowerment.

I always believe YOU have the right answers and, as a coach, my job is to facilitate a healthy space where they can come forth from you. One of the things I love to do is help you get your power back over anything negative. 

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Onward

Ready to move forward? You can turn a negative into a positive. As a coach, I can help with that!

For an example, I am going to use a healing I did in my own life last weekend. 

I was badly in need of alchemy. I needed to transform a negative emotion into something positive. I am by no means 100% healed, but it’s a step in the right direction. This is something no therapist has been able to give me! 

I have struggled with emotions surrounding my cousin’s death since 1991. She died in a house fire. On Thanksgiving. My uncle died two weeks later of an unrelated health problem. Needless to say I have been triggered by fire, smoke, and Thanksgiving ever since. 

In addition to being a life coach, I’m also a journalist.

I left my home Saturday with only intentions of running errands and no intention of being a journalist in that moment. But I saw thick, black smoke a mile or so away. It ended up being a two-alarm fire. Before I knew this, my journalistic curiosity got the better of me. I arrived on scene despite feeling triggered. I thought I may just snap a photo and run, but then a bystander yelled at me from across the street, ‘The flames are over there!” 

Now I had to go in deeper to look for the full story.

Someone had seen me with my branded news vehicle. So I wandered in until I found people gathered around a burning building. Smoke was everywhere. I could feel my chest tightening. The smell was pungent; nothing smells like a fire. Once you’ve been near one you take the smell with you. I walked until I found some people. They assured me everyone got out alive. This made me happy, sad, and jealous all at the same time. 

I knew I would have been inconsolable if the person in that apartment had died.

I’ve learned over 27 years that I badly want every fire victim to survive. I don’t want more deaths like my cousin’s — but I will always wish she’d been one of the lucky ones. So I left, feeling triggered, feeling choked up. I needed to do my job but I needed to cry too. 

I did my job. I didn’t let the tears flow. I tried, but they evaporated somewhere within me in a broken space that needs healing. That dry space just needs a little precipitation now and then. Not much. 

I went to Ulta after the fire. I bought Zoella body spray to douse the smell of smoke. I bought the moisturizer I needed. (It was my original errand running plan that day). 

Then what?

It seemed fitting to stop at Firehouse Subs! Not even kidding you. As soon as I walked into that place I felt healed. I felt like I was standing within a tangible homage to hero firefighters. I realized I can inhibit a space in which I can feel pain and gratitude at the same time. I faced a painful trigger and then rewarded myself with positives. 

It wasn’t the first time I tried to face a fire and turn it into something positive. 

In college radio, at KOHL in Fremont, California, there was a fire in the hills behind our station. This was at Ohlone College, itself built into the side of a hill with what felt like 10,000 steps. I stubbornly refused to leave the radio station the night those hills were on fire. I loved radio and I refused to let a fire take away one more of my loves.

I watched that fire come to the crest of that hill behind me that night like it was coming at me and then I watched it change course. I felt victorious! That fire wasn’t about to take my radio show away from me!

The next morning I realized what an idiot I was as I couldn’t breathe and felt sick from breathing in so much smoke from the night before. But I felt like I’d taken something back from that house fire in 1991. I felt like I was less powerless. Fire couldn’t take two of us, now could it? Those would just be cruel odds? (I didn’t have the best thinking at 18 years old).

Last Saturday’s victory of being able to cover a fire as a journalist allowed me to feel empowered once more. I can never have my beloved cousin back, but I can let go of some of my baggage. I can keep recovering pieces of myself back from 1991 and that is a beautiful thing. 

I understand now I’ll never be completely healed, neither will my family.

Start a fire near me indoors and you’re dead to me. The current fires in my home state of California (Woolsey, Camp) are heart wrenching and I can only stomach slight bits of the coverage. Self-care is censoring that type of news right now. I’m still healing from one person I lost 27 years ago. I can’t imagine 79 dead and 700 still missing. (At the time of this writing). The level of trauma being left behind on that burned and scarred map…it’s overwhelming. There are literally thousands of people like me who will heal slowly and forever from these fires. 

If that is you, you will find your healing in time. Now isn’t the time to begin to perform the type of self-alchemy that took me years to get to. When I say you will find your healing in time I stress this “time” is measured in decades, not months. We all heal differently. Each path to healing will be unique. The beginning stage of grief work isn’t the time for this. 

My above examples of myself are a bit extreme in that my story is deeply emotional and traumatic. This also comes after years of professional therapy. Please DO seek professional help if you are being triggered by fresh traumas. Life coaching is NOT a replacement for proper mental health care.


The type of alchemy I can do to turn your negatives into positives are: 


(Axamples bullet pointed) 


*Fear of taking a leap of faith (or any fear holding you back) 

*Getting rid of the negative voice in your head that says “you can’t” do what your heart desires 

*Changing horrible self-talk into a positive, life-affirming, GAME-CHANGING way of life

*Learning to train yourself to think more positively in daily life 

*Turning off life’s biggest distractors so you can have more creative time 

*Stop telling yourself you’re “not creative” and become the artist you were meant to be

when you feel like quitting, think about why you started..jpg

Healing.

There will always be more opportunities to heal.

It's small business Saturday so I'm extending my life coaching/Reiki gift card sale!

Happy holidays from the life coaching & Reiki world!

I hope your Thanksgiving holiday was excellent. I also hope your holiday season is off to an amazing start filled with family, friends, and food.

I’m using the season of sales to pick up just a few things I need. The kiddos are probably all getting slime from Old Aunt Heather…haha.

When I say I am getting a few things I need, those things are simple:

  • A travel yoga mat.

  • A new Self-Journal planner (my new fave).

  • Activated charcoal toothpaste.

  • Courses

  • Books

The thing to do right now, for me, is to gather some personal development resources. Just the sale on Kindle books was amazing yesterday! I do support my local bookstore as well — Watermark Books. They are amazing and I attended a friend’s book signing Monday night. Got some Wichita stickers too from Heartlandia, which I love. (See that on my Instagram @heatherlarson).

Stock up on your personal development tools and prepare for a solid 2019 now!

With this spirit in my mind, I have gift cards on sale in my Square Market for 50% off of gift cards $50 or more.

Just in case you want to give them to other people instead of keeping them for yourself, I made sure to have a zillion designs for different occasions.

Purchase them here.