Fearless 5 Episode #35 Show Notes: This one is a little long

The episode is long, i mean. Because I’m talking about alignment!

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Get aligned

Or end up a miserable cow. It’s pretty simple!

How do we not wait? We take action. We also live in congruency with what we REALLY want. Don’t deny it any longer. You won’t STOP wanting it. Go after it. 

Take a leap or a baby step — but do it. I’m going to mention my FREE ebook again, “Time to Align.” I talk a bit in it about some of the life choices I made this summer to lead to more freedom. I talked in earlier podcasts this week about how I’m seeking more freedom once again. Life comes in layers like that. Peel one back, get comfy again, and then you realize there are still more layers to peel back. 

Wanna hear what’s in the free ebook? Let’s do it! (Download the ebook on the “FREE STUFF” page below).

Fearless 5 Podcast #34: You can change BEFORE your life sucks.

The point this week is to be honest and real. It’s also to address how much fears can hold us back OVER TIME. 

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If life…

Gives me lemons, I’m going to want to buy an RV and run away.

Before you know it, you’re calculating the years you have left and what you can do in that time. 

I have friends who started RV full-time in their golden years. They worked for it a long time and were big planners. They went slowly and methodically, getting rid of possessions, putting things in storage, giving their house to their kids… They had lived in that house their entire marriage. For decades! Moving into an RV full-time was a huge step. My friends began to leave their daily grind, which as elderly people, was volunteer work and part-time jobs for enrichment. 

They made some trips and loved the RV life they had always wanted. It was awesome! I had teased them I was going to live vicariously through them since I wanted that too and I followed their journey on their Facebook page about their travels. Then my friend got sick. He got throat cancer. They had to stop RV’ing and returned to Wichita for his chemo and surgeries. They rented an apartment and got through it. My friend lost his voice for a while, but most importantly, he lost the ability to live his travel dream for a while. 

That’s life. You finally get what you want and then get cancer. Or you’re 25 and your mom gets sick, but a month and two days later she’s dead and you have a genetic time bomb ticking for you and your family. My uncle died at age 56 of CJD four years after my mom’s death. So by 2008, I was shell shocked and ready for change. 

That’s when the economy crashed. 2009 found me moving into a glorified studio apartment while the company I worked for furloughed us. I made it. Barely. Those familiar economic signs are there. (Sorry, to my millennial and Gen Z listeners who haven’t endured it before, but it’s coming). It made me question a lot of things and by 2010, I decided I needed to get back into doing morning radio and that I was ready and willing to move anywhere in the world in order to do it. That’s how I ended up where I am now — Kansas. 

And back to our original topic this week — or one of them — don’t wait until life gets so crappy that you HAVE to make a change.

This is how years go by. Choose your own adventure. Remember, YOU are the architect of your own destiny. Choose now. Choose while things are good or boring. Chose your fate before you are forced by life. Do it if you can. Growth comes out of misery, believe me. But it doesn’t have to. 

Get congruent with your goals and values. Personally, I don’t want to give myself only my golden years to go RV’ing. I may not make it that far. I’m being honest. I’m not trying to be depressing. This is real. I’ve hit a point NOW where I am afraid the next 15-16 years will pass like that last did. And I won’t get to do all I want in this life. It’s time for me to make some crazy moves. 

Don’t wait. 

Fearless 5 Podcast episode #33 show notes

Ok, I’m going to be really honest. This past week of my life was atrocious.

This is what I do though — I’m raw, honest, and uncensored. So I, “tell it like it is,” as my friends say. This last week was a shit sandwich caught on fire… So I posted show notes for episode #31 like clockwork. Then, crickets all week. Not my norm. So thanks for sticking around. More episodes to come tomorrow & I will explain some of the chaos. But not all. Some of it is still in process and some of it involves other people.

I believe in turning my mess into my message.

The good news is I took Tuesday to sleep and rest. October 8 is a hard anniversary to get through so it became a day of self-care. I just napped and listened to audiobooks. It was a good thing, too. My Wednesday was legendary and not in a good way. Thursday, I was putting out fires. But I also prioritized what was important by seeing a friend in the hospital and handling things of my own. My friends would walk through fire for me. When one of them ends up in the hospital, I’m there. (Unless there’s a tickle in my throat; don’t be that person who goes to the hospital with germs).

Here’s a hint at next week’s Fearless 5 podcast episodes

What I’ve had to do this week spiritually is simply return to my spiritual kindergarten. It’s a back-to-basics vibe around here. Let me get back to the simplest of simple things — meditation. I pulled out my first CD of yoga music from 2005. When I say I am “returning to my spiritual kindergarten,” that’s what I mean. Let me get back to the roots of what got me to where I am today and share it with you.

But first: Show notes for Fearless 5 #33!

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#vanlife

Shall I sell it all and hit the road?

While it may not be #vanlife for me in 2019…I’m open to it happening in 2020. Talk about Fearless…

I’m looking at the first step as being more like having roommates and saving money but also renting an RV first to see if this is even what I really do want. What if I hate it? What if I sold all my stuff, hate it, and now have to start over, get a home again, dishes, a table… all that? 

I say, “face the fear and do it anyway” a lot, but there’s also another school of thought.

Face the fear — but do it responsibly. I’m not ready to buy an RV tomorrow and take off. I have no idea wtf I’m doing. But I AM READY to learn how to do it and prepare. I am ready to take the first baby steps on the path to the RV traveling life. 

I’ve had “travel blog” on my vision board for longer than I can tell you. There are a few other things as well that I really want. They are “must haves” in this bucket list life. And these things I want all align with the RV life. They all align with FREEDOM as in location-independence! I want to travel so bad. But, life. 

I’m coming up with a crazy plan that will be long-term but bring me all the things I want: the RV life, travel, a travel blog, location-independence, and most of all — FREEDOM. But can I actually do it? WILL I actually do it? Up next, WHY now. 

It’s the second week of October. Historically, for me, a hard week to get through. On October 8, 2004 it was the day my mother left her home for the emergency room and never came home. She died a month and two days later of CJD — which is genetic in our family. A ticking time bomb similar to ALS. I got tested but don’t know my results. I haven’t chosen to open them yet. Jesus, what IS in my DNA anyway? I’ve not been ready to find out if I have a death sentence or not. It’s 50/50. Anyway, I’m 40. People in my family have tended to die at age 56…so 15 years have passed since my mom died of CJD and I have only 15-16 years left IF my body is to do the same thing. 

You can read about our journey at my old blog, CureCJD.wordpress.com. Point is, I may not have that many years left to see the world or this continent. I joke every year at this time about how I’ll spend my mid-life crisis this year… But something about being 40 changes things. Time and circumstances add up. I’m actually LESS afraid to do crazy stuff now! 

Fearless 5 Podcast episode #32 show notes

You dream of big, deep, earth-quaking change.

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So…

What the F am I even afraid of at this point?

Otherwise, you wouldn’t have found me. Change is my favorite! (Said in Buddy the Elf voice). 

So what’s the change I’m thinking of making? What’s my new big, hairy, audacious goal to chase after now that I am spending more time on DestinyArchitecture and the hunger is back — the hunger needs to be fed!?! 

I want to sell all my crap and go RV’ing around North America. 

There, I said it. Buckle up. This could get really GOOD from here on out. 

This is something I’ve dreamed about for a long time. Lately in life though, I’ve been bumming. I thought I was living in alignment for the past two months. Birthed from this new feeling was my free ebook, Time To Align, in which I talk about my number one life value — FREEDOM. Except lately, I haven’t felt in alignment with my desire to be really free and it’s been pissing me off. 

I thought I’d come up with MORE freedom since July. In July, I quit my social work job because I got really sick. My immune system was so shot, we thought I’d come down with mono — again. My body was just DONE. I decided to leave the recovery center & jail where I was working to give my immune system a rest. I needed to stop being around the indigent population and I had an opening to do what I’ve always loved — morning radio. And again, I’d have a job that didn’t take up my entire schedule. So I still had time freedom, freedom to better my health, to keep spending even MORE time on my business now because I’d be working LESS THAN 40 hours a week now for other people… SO MUCH FREEDOM, right? 

WRONG. 

So even though I truly DO have more freedom than I had at the start of summer 2019, or even last year at this time, I still lacked the kind of freedom I am really after. I’m still feeling tied down. My desire for a long time has been to be location-independent. I’m not quite ready or willing to become a digital nomad and travel the globe. Again — my immune system right now. Ugh. I’m trying to build her up! But I decided I need to work towards the freedom #vanlife will provide. 

What the F am I afraid of at this point? 

I would gladly trade my current stressors for a new set that includes finding campgrounds and a place to shower. I don’t really camp, so I’d choose the RV over the van, to be honest. And this week, I am all about pulling back the veil and being honest! Ok, I always am. I tell it like it is, as my friends always say. 

So today I’ve given thought to my choices. Do I sell it all or put it in storage? More likely some mix of both as I’ve been obsessed with minimalism for some time. I’d love to sell it all but I’m not ready! I still need my juicer! But I’m walking around my home today looking at all the “stuff,” like, “Well, this wouldn’t make it onto the RV for the trip…” 

I realized today this dream is completely possible — but — it would take me a year or more to prepare. I’m also just nuts enough to make this happen. And I’m not sure what the first step is today. I have some ideas. I’ll explore this as the week begins. How can I do it? Do I break my lease? I’ve mentioned before I am in apartment hell with noisy neighbors and a first-time landlady who isn’t assertive about honoring what is in my lease and fixing the problem. There has got to be more to life than settling down, living under this popcorn ceiling, listening to my neighbor upstairs stomping around, and working so hard for the material things I’ve collected inside this home… 

Now on Apple Podcasts & How about some FREE coaching?

Fearless 5 made it to Apple Podcasts

Just in case you didn’t hear… I’m very excited to announce that the Fearless 5 Podcast is now on Apple Podcasts!

An opportunity for a FREE coaching session

Please let me know if you need help tackling a fear in your life. You could become the subject of a future podcast! Would you like some FREE coaching? A brief coaching session is up for grabs! Of course, there’s a catch — you have to let me record it for the podcast! Since the Fearless 5 Podcast is five episodes a week at around five minutes each, some of the audio from your coaching session can be used for the podcast.

This not only lets me help you, but it also lets you help others. Someone out there listening could be struggling with the same issue you are. I believe we become more empowered when we share our dreams, hopes, and fears. Speaking out into the Universe with our voice helps us hear not only our problems — but possible solutions as well.

If you’d like to put yourself out there, submit your information on the form below and I’ll be in contact!

Name *
Name
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Hello, Apple

As a longtime Apple devotee, I’m so excited we are on Apple Podcasts now!

I am so excited to be on Apple Podcasts now!

I’ve listened to podcasts on Apple for…I don’t know how long. It’s been a long, seven-week wait for my Anchor podcast to arrive on Apple Podcasts. This is where I listen to my favorite podcasts, so it’s the medium I’m most excited to see my podcast on. I’m just a little geeked up!

When I first started listening to podcasts, of course, I was listening to any and every personal development podcast I could find. Now, there are so many. It’s a crowded field. But I love that! I’ll never run out of amazing podcasts to enjoy. For that, I am grateful!

A little more about the Fearless 5 Podcast

What makes my podcast, Fearless 5, unique is its brevity. It’s only 5 minutes long. Well, it’s supposed to be. I tend to be long-winded! But I want you to have at least five minutes to start your day in the right mindset. I made this podcast for you because it’s what I would want. I love to wake up and listen to a motivating podcast while I get ready in the morning. The ones I loved about personal development, coaching, Reiki, and metaphysics were too long for me though! Where are the fearless, positive, and motivating morning podcasts that are just a few minutes long but packed with value? So I created Fearless 5 and — at most — it could go up to 10 minutes long. That’s only because sometimes I get a little passionate and can’t shut up. I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s how it works

I sit down, usually on Saturdays, and write out the five Fearless 5 podcast episodes for the week. Then on Sunday, I record all five episodes and upload them for you on Anchor. I also tweet out the link on my @heatherlarson Twitter as I finish each one so you can be the first to hear them.

I upload all five episodes for the week on Sundays so you have them for the week. Then you can listen to one each weekday when you wake up, which is how I designed it. Or you can listen to them all at once whatever day or time you want! During the week, I then upload the show notes each day, Monday-Friday here on the blog. Sometimes I get ahead or behind on posting the show notes, depending on my schedule.

So if you ever are listening to the Fearless 5 Podcast and want to know more, just check out the show notes. They’ll be here. For example, if you listen to the Fearless 5 while you run or while you’re driving and hear an idea you want to come back to later, you can. You don’t have to stop and write it down or make a voice memo in your phone. I got you! It’s all right here!

Thanks for being here! I appreciate you! I’m so happy people are finding the podcast and the blog. Welcome!

~Coach Heather

Your top favorite blogs & stuff from September 2019, Destiny Architects!

Let’s dig into what Destiny Architects like yourself were really into last month! Personal development is 24/7 around here. From the blogs to the podcast to the Patreon and digital downloads, there’s a TON of cool stuff going on here designed to help you live the life of your dreams — on purpose! Remember, YOU are the architect of you own destiny!

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Let’s see…

What you liked most last month!

I love to see what was most popular on the site and on the blog each month. You can ALWAYS reach out to let me know what you like, hate, and want more of on here.

Top Life Coaching & Reiki Content of September 2019

Thanks for hanging out in this personal development corner of the Internet I’ve created! Glad you’re here. Let’s recap the stuff you liked the most in September 2019:

There are only 3 months left in 2019…and in the entire decade…

Are you where you WANT to be? Are you crushing your 2019 goals? If not, let’s talk and let me coach you back onto the path of goal digging into 2020. Get some perspective here.

Hey, you loved Fearless 5 — episode 7 — of the podcast!

This one was about doing something we are all afraid of — living in a silent home. Cutting out TV. Taking the time we would have wasted and spending it on pursuing a dream. Read the Fearless 5 Podcast #7 Show Notes here.

Did I strike a nerve? Or are you down to check out a TV-free life? Listen to episode 7 here.

Ok, what did you love on the blog? Are you liking the Fearless 5 Show Notes? Are you liking the podcast? Do you have something you want me to cover? A certain topic you’re struggling with? Let me know. I’m here for YOU.

STILL your favorite digital download in the Destiny Architecture store and STILL just $3.33! Get started on Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind NOW:

You LOVED the blog archive!

So glad I built it for you! Yes, at this point in time, I am the person doing all the things. I create the stuff and put it online. So that should give you an idea of WHY I appreciate my clients and readers SO MUCH! Read the archive here.

Honorable mention — the FREE ebook, obviously! 

Get your butt into alignment NOW. Not next year. Don’t wait! Get clear on your life today! 

Fearless 5 Podcast Episode #30 Show Notes: How I Deal with PTSD

Disclaimer: This blog is not meant to treat, diagnose, or cure any disease or health condition mental or physical. The blogger is sharing her own personal experience ONLY; this is not meant as a treatment or diagnosis. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.


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How I deal

with PTSD…something we need to talk about more!

Anxiety and stress…. We all have it. Here’s where we find what works for us and we deal with it. 

If only it were that easy, right? 

I suffered from PTSD for years before I figured out how to properly handle my flashbacks. Once I began to learn how to ground myself and get back into the present, my flashbacks weren’t as bad or frequent anymore. I know this may not work for everyone. We are all different. We have different triggers for sure! But I did eventually learn to ground myself by consciously telling myself what year I was in. So if it were today, I’d be telling myself, “Heather, it’s 2019, you are in Wichita, Kansas. You are at such and such address. You are at work. It’s 2019. You are in Kansas…” And I’d repeat that over and over. I’d get a glass of cold water to have something tangible to touch, hold, and feel. It helped anchor me to the present to hold — and drink — a glass of cold water. 

The cold water trick was something SO SIMPLE, yet it worked for me. Figure out what works for you. Maybe it’s something you hold or look at. Maybe it’s something hot or cold for you like it is for me. 

I am NOT a therapist and am not qualified to diagnose or treat PTSD. I’m just sharing what worked for me.

It turned out to be a simple solution for an extremely complex issue. And to this day, I can’t honestly explain my stuff to you. I can’t explain PTSD or how it works, how it affects me… It’s just a horrible experience and with therapy and my own research, I figured out something that has worked — so far. 

My triggers are deep. They aren’t a daily thing. It’s not like being a veteran who is triggered by fireworks, car backfires, and loud booming noises. My PTSD is triggered by very specific conditions and feelings. This is a time of year when my memories torture me and some of those conditions become ripe…sometimes. Not always. The brain is a tricky thing like that. 

Bottom line, two things work: anchoring myself to the present with affirmations about the current year/time/place and having a cold glass of water to really feel like I am an honest, REAL human being who exists on a plane where I can drink cold water. Ironically, I never choose to drink cold water otherwise. I prefer room temperature! 

Now, when my mind runs away from me, I tell myself I am OK. I am safe. I am taken care of. Everything is fine. 

I don’t beat myself up or dismiss my feelings as “made up” or “silly” or “my mind running away with itself.” I think those of us who grew up with anxiety heard enough of that crap growing up. 

So now, it’s recognizing, “I feel anxious.” Then I self-soothe by telling myself I’m ok. I’m safe. Life supports me. Everything is happening for my own good. The Universe is making a way. My fears are valid AND I can let them go. I can breathe in the peace. I can relax. I can practice self-care. I can take a break. I can call a friend for help. 

FALL is finally here!

I know, I know. I’m one of those women… I love fall and all of its things — pumpkins, Halloween, scarves, and boots. Mostly, I love the changing of the seasons. I grew up in Arizona where there are NO seasons. We had to drive north to see fall foliage turning colors. You don’t get that in the desert, where cactus is green year-round.

There’s something I love about getting into hibernation for the winter. I add more lights to my house, drink more tea, and cuddle up more in blankets. I love slowing down and introspection. All I want to do is curl up in a blanket with my journal and a cup of tea! I’m currently studying Hygge — more on that later. I keep mentioning it, so you know there will be a blog/vlog/podcast about it!

I’ve been spending this week resting. It’s been quite a crazy five months now, full of insane demands. My body is tired. I slept 12 hours yesterday. I’m looking forward to making some life changes during this changing of the seasons. But first, I rest.

So Fearless 5 podcast show notes are behind this week, which is OK. This week’s Fearless 5 Podcast is better listened to than read about, which is why I don’t mind being behind on posting show notes. The podcasts this week are meditations, mostly. Some of my PTSD coping skills are on episode #30.

I’ll catch up on posting this week’s show notes tomorrow. For now, I’m nursing not only exhaustion (due to horrible neighbor issues I’ll surely end up dealing with in court) but a tension headache, too. (The headache makes computer work almost impossible at the moment). But I thought I’d post a quick blog to let you know I hadn’t forgotten to post the podcast show notes. Also, it’s important to be an example of self-care. I AM Destiny Architecture — this is a sole proprietorship and I run it. This means sometimes there are “sick days” around here, but I prefer to call them “self-care days.”

Reminder: it’s OK to take time for yourself. Actually, it’s encouraged. If you’re tired, stiff, sore, and full of tension you need to take time off. Trust me, I’m there right now. Part of self-care for me is creating, which usually means writing, but with this tension headache, I can’t sit at the computer for long. I’m listening to my body and its infinite wisdom this week. There’s been so much rest and I still need more. So I’m going to honor that.

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It's a new week: BE BOLD

When my cousin died I watched my aunt go through unspeakable grief. In the processing of her grief, she decided she was to become “a spitfire” instead of being nice all the time because my cousin had told her to do this before she died.

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Be bold.

The only thing you lose this way is the suckers.

The world gains nothing when we are weak

We gain nothing when we are weak. We must be spitfires. We must be bold.

It’s been a rough few months. I keep it honest around here. I’ve learned I benefit when I am bold. I do not benefit from “being nice” as society conditions women to be. I convinced myself somehow I was “taking the high road” on a couple things — but I most certainly was not. Some boldness would have taken me father faster.

What I have learned about myself in recent years is I usually find myself in situations where I must compensate for others’ weaknesses. I learned this working in a busy downtown detox and a recovery center. I learned this when working on team efforts in which team members wanted to waste time or take extra steps to get to a readily apparent solution. (A coworker yesterday to me said, “Whoa, I like how you just cut through all the red tape!) This is what I do. This is NOT, however, what other people do. And I forget that.

I need other people to be leaders, too.

When you don’t lead, when you don’t take charge, when you don’t find empowered ways to solve problems — WHY are you even here? Go be a follower. Seriously.

Case in point: my living situation. I have a landlady who told me today she should have given my noisy neighbors a complaint in writing. Excuse me? After months of me complaining this still hasn’t been in writing? I need you to grow a pair, lady.

People need you to lead.

If you have clients or customers, they need you to grow a pair. Or they will go away.

Yes, I tried to be nice too.

Now after another sleepless night, I see the true cost. I tried to NOT call the police, I tried to NOT be “the complainer,” and I mistakenly thought a landlord would enforce my lease and the local housing codes. Nope! So I ended up talking to the police anyway, who told me to call 911 from now on as the noise is happening. I’m probably going to end up in court (which was always fun in my social work days…how are the judges doing these days, anyway?) But I’m the tenant. There’s only so much I can do. I still need the landlady to have a damn set of balls. I need her to be bold. Be a spitfire. LEAD.

I’m done being nice.

I’m going to be bold from now on. My cousin up in Heaven is probably looking down on me glaringly right now saying, “Finally!”

I’ve always been bold. I’ve always been TOO. Too much. Too loud. Too confident in the vein of, “Who does she think she is?!” There was a point in childhood where it was frowned upon by adults and I began to learn to tone it down. Many things I was since my earliest years were squelched over the years — my boldness, my voice, my creativity… I am DONE with that. (I think I’ve mentioned my re-parenting process before on the blog and Fearless 5 Podcasts).

Something about running my own business has emboldened me.

Switching careers from broadcasting to social work and back again also emboldened me. Age has contributed as well. Sobriety helped a lot. Today, as it’s that time of year again (listen to podcast #30 for more on that) I find myself reflective. Life has certainly beaten me down over the past five months in more ways than I could possibly share publicly. I can share about the neighbor ordeal because it’s a good example everyone can relate to. But there have been other things I’ve kept private for good reason. Some I will tell someday when the time is right.

Today, I reflected on how much I’ve been through at my age that most people haven’t. Actually, much of it happened when I was much younger so that’s not even a true statement. So. Many. Things. It’s been a truly weird and unique life so far. That has made me bold, too.

Do you realize there are only three months left in 2019?

Are you where you want to be at this point in the year? Feeling stuck? Did distractions get you off track? Let me help you get back to what matters with a coaching session. You can schedule here.

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Did your…

Vision board come true? Did it jump off the page into real life? Or did you get off track?

Here’s something you need to know.

There are only three months left in 2019. Three months from now, we’re on vacation, we’re wrapping presents, and it’s a week away from 2020. I’m telling you this to put life into perspective. If you don’t have what you set out to have this year, I want to help you get back into focus.

Just because the year is about to end in three months doesn’t mean it’s all over. You can still go after what you want. Sure, the timeline may be a little different than you’d hoped. It happens to all of us.

Personally, I’ve been through a lot in the past 3 months. I spent some time reflecting on what all has gone on since the end of June and how much my life has changed. It’s changed for the better in a lot of ways but I still have far to go.

But I am on track.

ALL my goals are written on the wall before me in my home office. I have wall calendars filled out through 2/29/20. I have a calendar of quarterly milestones for 2020 filled out as well. Sandwiched in between is my vision board. Next to the calendars is a list of all that I’m calling into my life.

This is how it gets done — by making incremental goals with dates on them. I have direction and focus planned out through March 2020. This brings me peace. I can check in with myself at any time to see if I need a break or want to keep pushing. I can change outcomes at any time. I know where I am and where I am going. I’ve become a planner like this.

This can be you.

You can be this laser-focused if you want. I can teach you how to plan your goals on a timetable. I can teach you how to live on purpose if that’s what you want and if you’re willing to change.

You know that vision board you made in January?

How is that looking to you right now? Hopefully, you didn’t arbitrarily put up a bunch of glossy magazine photos and now look at it with disdain and regret. I hope your vision board is full of focused, SMART goals. I hope it’s brightly colored, gorgeous, realistic, and inspiring. I hope you see it daily and it inspires you to keep going.

As we head into fall, I hope you give yourself some time to evaluate where you’re at and where you’d like to be. Count your wins and don’t just focus on what didn’t happen or why. Focus on how you can get back on track to reaching your goals. And if you need help, schedule a coaching session with me. I’m here to help.

Related posts:

The Do’s of Visioning

It’s time to do a vision board review.

What are you visioning?

Join my Facebook Vision Boarding group here!

How to make your goals SMART

Schedule your life coaching or Reiki session here.