I believe my higher power knows a lot more about The Plan than I do. So when a door in my life slams shut, this is the only thought that brings me peace. I'm hurt when those doors slam and I wasn't the one slamming them.
We hope for things, sometimes to the point of dependence or desperation. When a door slams on us when were are in those spaces, we feel especially bitter and hurt. We aren't ready to see that what we didn't get wasn't for us anyway. But we will see it -- eventually.
Someday, we will know why it didn't work out. But in the moment... We are so hurt. We can't see beyond the blazing fire in our heart and mind.
I went to a 12-step meeting once in which someone was passing around an article about it "being hell in the hallway." I know the hallway space well. Or the "leap of faith" space. The hallway is where you are in between one door slamming shut and the next one opening. Every moment is an act of trust and leap of faith. You are waiting for that next door to open. You stare it down in such a way your eyes could practically stare it open. But it stays shut. You have no way to open it, no key, no battering ram...
It burns. Your frustration is a boiling heat inside of you. It's like going through the stages of grief. Anger. Blame. Bargaining. OH HOW TO OPEN THAT DOOR?
Guess what? You don't get to. Not now. Not yet.
"So what am I supposed to do?"
First, practice gratitude.
Thank that last experience. Honor that you had it. Honor what it gave you and what you learned. Honor and appreciate who you met, how you grew, and where it took you.
Second, take stock.
Is it really that bad in the hallway? No. It's your perception of it that is horrible! Yes, the air in there can be thin to the point it feels like it's evaporating. But that's the claustrophobia kicking in. What if I told you the hallway doesn't have to close in on you? You can walk that hallway. It may be longer and deeper than expected. But you can keep walking forward. Not back.
Third -- that's exactly what you do -- you keep moving forward.
Look for the positive in the hallway.
- What can you do while there?
- How can you use it to your advantage?
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