Fearless 5 Podcast Episode #45 -- I'm going to cry through this one because you cannot ever give up

Ever think something is impossible? You’re probably wrong.

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I’m crying because a miracle has happened — don’t ever give up!

Woot! 45th podcast! 

The first 4 podcasts came out of me in minutes, it seemed. Then I got to this one. Crickets…

But I show up anyway. Brainstorm. Get on Facebook and mess around, look at memes. See what friends post… And then, I got it! The topic for the 45th podcast! But first… the housekeeping. I post the podcast on Sundays so you have it for the week. I mean for it to be used daily in the morning when you wake up so you have a quick, positive, and motivating podcast to start your workdays with Monday-Friday. But you can listen to it however, whenever you want. There’s 45 episodes you can binge now! Wow… Then I post the show notes Monday-Friday…sometimes on Saturday if I get busy. I try not to do that though. 

Ok, today’s topic is HUGE! Are you ready? I can’t believe this slipped my mind! Let’s talk about why you never GIVE UP on a dream…though letting go does help. 

On November 11, 2003 (Veteran’s Day) my very best friend, April, was diagnosed with cancer. Leukemia, to be exact. She was back home in the San Francisco Bay Area and I was living in Phoenix. So I flew home on Thanksgiving day to stay at Stanford and be with her. I watched her suffer. I watched her heal. It all happened so fast. And with Leukemia, they had to act quickly. There was no time to freeze her eggs. She was 25. 

Rounds of chemo did a number on her body. She had short-term memory loss even years later! But fertility was another issue — would that come back? Was it GONE? Had cancer ruined her chance to start a family? 

A year ago, April met Joseph and he swept her off her feet. This spring, I got the call — there would be a BABY in OCTOBER! 

I cannot tell this story without crying. I am so happy and full of joy! 

Little baby Roland came into the world this week — on the 30th anniversary of the Loma Prieta quake back home… Kid has a sense of humor, I guess. 

There was no trying to have this baby. Oh, she wanted to have this baby with all her heart! But she didn’t spend $70K on IVF…she didn’t try and try and face heartaches and disappoints. April truly did NOT think a baby was possible for her. After years of having the dream of giving birth to her own child, April told me one day, “If it’s meant to be, it will be, but I have to let it go.” I was sad that day. 

Because the absolute BEST and WORST feature of my personality is my desire to MAKE IT HAPPEN! I will find a way. I am a honey badger like that. Now that I’m 40, I’ve decided this is more of a detriment than an asset and I’ll be surrendering ALL THE THINGS from now on. (Maybe there’s next week’s topics in a nutshell, we’ll see. I’m waiting to see how some things pan out). 

So my response to April saying she was going to LET GO of the idea of having a baby was, “OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT GIVE UP!” But if she was going to let it go, I would have to let it go too, accept it, be sad…and move on. 

Imagine everyone’s surprise this year when April and Jospeh announced they were expecting! Imagine my joy this week when baby Roland was born! I cried all day. Every time I thought about him, how he came to be in the world, how for nearly 16 years he was an impossible dream — I broke down in tears. 

Cancer did not win this time. Of Course, it took 16 years to be sure of that…

My sweet nephew. He is the Universe’s proof that we all just need to let go, stop controlling, stop trying to make things happen. 

If it is to be, it will be.